It’s with heavy heart I pen this verse
Watching your father pass by in the hearse
Takes me back to that night in the shed
When you said, this is like fireworks
It was, I dropped the cigarette on the petrol can
Still, as I remarked, not many sheds get a technicolour funeral
He was beyond reason
Not helped when rumours of porno magazines started circulating
He told me straight, marry my daughter and I’ll kill myself
So we married in haste
But he didn’t keep his promise
What a waste
Still, when that great oak fell on top of his new shed
I had a grin from ear to ear
It was like the chainsaw massacre, but more fun
It was about that time you found god
I found your sister
You forgave me, I was weak
She was pregnant, sixteen weeks
Your dad went mad, he said I was the devil incarnate
Then he dropped dead
They looked at me in horror, in dread
Like it was something I said
Do something they cried
I didn’t know any songs, so I punched him between the eyes
He was definitely dead
I carried the coffin
The least I could do
I shed a tear, maybe two
We decided to scatter his ashes over his pride and joy
But they couldn’t be found
The crematorium were in shock, people were running around
It was like he just disappeared
I was agog
Couldn’t see the mist for the smog
Later that day, just to console
I produced a big rocket
Really his soul
I set it off, and said goodbye
They had a little cry
It climbed high in the sky
They gave a sigh
Should it not explode
Well it is supposed to go with a bang
Just then it made its descent
It was like he was heaven sent
Plummeting to earth
Mad as hell
We all dived for cover
Just as well
She screamed, oh god, oh boy
No need to tell you where he landed
Okay then
His comfort and joy.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: November 4th, 2025 04:51
- Category: Humor
- Views: 9
- Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett, Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments4
Well Paul you succeeded you made me laugh and not just a little so that gets a fave for sure. It cleansed the system this morning and I thank you for that.
You need a laugh on a rainy day.
I need a laugh any day
The whole thing is a beautiful wreck...dark wit, loss, and release stitched together with a pyromaniac grin. “His comfort and joy” lands like a final cruel gift. Brilliant, Paul. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Was a sad end.
This one really leans into dark comedy, Paul. I found myself laughing and wincing at the same time. The way you mix grief, chaos, and absurdity makes the father’s presence feel larger than life, even in death. That final twist with the rocket is such a wild, unforgettable image, an irreverent but strangely fitting. Thanks for sharing such a bold, mischievous piece. 🕊️🙏
I think he got a fitting send off.
Good fun words Paul, did you ever find him?
Andy
Strangely no. lol
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