it may be obvious

I catch myself,

waiting for your footsteps,

i enter a few minutes after you,

it may be obvious,

that i had this planned.

i say hi casually.

i don't initiate conversation other than that.

it's not you I'm wanting to speak to 

but I lost the one before you.

you're not a replacement,

but a distraction.

No intentions, no desire 

no real interest.

But I long for conversation,

like the ones I had before,

or any.

You're similar in a way,

maybe that's why.

But you're really not that similar,

maybe I wish for you to be?

Or grateful,

that you dont remind me too much of him.

His name feels like a curse,

And yet I long for someone to ask about him.