dappled desire

satisfaction is freckled

flaked thoughtlessly within

my feelings

sometimes, barely noticed

i often feel

despair

dappled with desire

and peppered with pride

in knowing there is more for me

to grab hold of

there are things i have done

i never thought i could

like changing my style

teaching children

dismally dragging my feet

through the defeat

in a desperate feat

to taste something sweet

to cheat my way out of the fear

and be greeted at the end with a seat, a treat

a rest

a sleep

i have been tormented

demented

cemented and sour-scented

chased the high

only to collapse

and fall

and rise

and collapse

and fall

collapse again before i’ve

even risen

fall before i’ve

even collapsed

relapsed

attempted to

remain relaxed

and laughed at the

stupidity of it

meditating in the storm

as if the calm of my mind

could stop the rain

although

there is goodness in rain

sometimes, there is goodness

in pain

in teaching our brains

how to change

through all of this

all the strain

it is dappled

freckled

with satisfaction

my reaction to

violent action seems to

draw attraction

i try distraction

but only a fraction

of my mind is diverted

the thoughts

in my brain

feel deserted

disconcerted

overly introverted

and so am i

in all of this

i am freckled

with a desire

for life.

12:54pm - 18/11/25