The Viagra Song

The Viagra Song

Oh, don’t give me that stuff about flowers

or chocolates with red wine, or meals,

I don’t want to court her for hours

then beg like a dog, or make deals

to treat her like my secret lover

and buy her a sports car in red,

or keep her in bountiful clover

with diamonds and pearls till I’m dead:

so I’ve been out to buy some Viagra

to bring back the prowess I grieve,

I won’t have to pout like Mick Jagger, a

handful of these, I believe

will give me a bulge like L. Christie,

a swaying baton in my shorts,

that will make her indoors’ eyes go misty

then she’ll chase me around just for sport!

15/8/21