I'm so sorry

I broke your trust. I left again and came back. I got scared. I fucked up. You broke my trust. You talked to her. You went to her house. Maybe nothing happened. But you lied. It cut deep. But I left. I started all of this. You keep telling me you're thinking, and I know it takes time. But it's time I don't have. How do I tell you that, though? So I wanted to say goodbye in advance. I'm leaving forever soon. I can feel it. I never deserved you. You never deserved what I did. Why was I so stupid!? Why do I let my anxiety get in the way?! I'm just so fucking sorry and don't know how to convince you that I'll never leave again. That I truly mean it this time. Baby, I'm so sorry. I wish you'd forgive me.