healing space

when i return home

i am putting records on the player

and watching them spinning

wishing i could move

as fast as them

without my over-excited

hyperactive heart

trying the same trick

and i am dimming the lights

until they are a soft, gentle

candle-kind of yellow

without any candles

because the flame

is a little too unpredictable

for my liking

i will make sure my sheets

are fresh and clean

place my cat in the middle of

a nest, blankets

leave him purring in the corner of

my bed

and i know, even when

everything is cosy

my clothes are warm

when the world is cold

and i had just enough

marshmallows left

for my hot chocolate

the panic

has not left

she pokes her head

around my door

and the darkness

seeps out from the cracks

my walls, once pink

now turn black

the strain is still

very much there

anger, confusion

exhaustion and pain

they come again, i know

the absence of mess does not

make a difference to

the mess in my head

instead

i lay

wrap myself in comfort

acknowledge the hurt

i am trying

and i learned

even when my

thoughts are screaming

i deserve healing

i try to

make my space

one for healing.

12:52pm - 09/12/25