Futile

Futile

Saw her again today.

Couldn’t say what I needed to say.

Saw the other one.

I kinda, sorta, want her.

She’s not right for me today.

Maybe another life we could find a way,

But I live in this body,

Always ending with nobody.

Wanting does nothing satisfactorily,

But reminds me of who I could and should be.

Love and I are on different ripped pages.

Haven’t spoken to true love in what feels like ages.

Maybe we’ve never even met.

One’s true love was not to be I guess.

I still forget all the pain desire caused,

All in the futile hope someone like me could be loved.

All in the futile hope someone could truly love me.

Like I said, futile dreams...

And dreams are all I am left with now.

When I was young I lived with my head in the clouds.

There my head remains,

But my body is fading.

Aging ain’t no friend of mine.

Losing time and losing better days.

Life is ticking by to the inevitable fateful day.

And all I sense is an empty river down stream.

If I can’t have love then why must I still be sinking?

Water used to flow through,

But now is the winter of my discontent!

My malcontent.

My lack of interest.

Better off dead than to be open to feelings.

No feelings left in my empty bed.

Day dreaming about her,

Then I see her tattoo’s.

I can’t be that picky.

I don’t get to choose.

I guess she kinda, sorta loves me.

I hope she does, trust,

But to me love is just a thing that them other people does.

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