Depression is a Family Illness

Depression is a Family Illness

She gazed into my sullen eyes that had lost their sparkle.

She must have wondered what had changed.

She asked to play outside when joints and muscles limited.

I lay listless in the green chair, not a whisper.

I, absent in my presence, I failed to engage.

My daughter clung to what I could offer,

Warmth, a heart that always beats for her.

Climbing into my lap her heartbeat mirrored mine.

That is what we shared.

No meals prepared, no bath given,

No books read, no warmth spread.

I hid the irritability as if I had put it in a closet.

I succumbed to days lived in a void.

My husband steadied the ship.

She grew and the cycles copied themselves.

At seventeen she saved me.

I failed to believe life could offer life.

Looking for a way out, a reprieve,

I let go.

I lost her that day.

She carries on without me.

I carry on.