Bottle Your Indifference
Bottle your indifference
Toss it to your muse
In me the glory that
Once set you a fire
A burden you once carried with zeal
In our time you have lived lavish
You have loved me as a moth in the wind
I beg of you to find your way back
Lost and weary you find yourself
I, dead to you
Your ways repugnant.
How have I lost your devotion?
You have pushed me aside
Like a pile of wood
Where is your morality?
You fly in the winds of shame
You cavort with the wayward
Bring yourself back as if lost
Bring yourself back anew or
For me, for the home that
Is my soul, I would walk
Out the door with a high
Head and a winsome heart
Knowing my sorrow has shut
The door saying
Sorry, were closed
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Comments5
This is a very dark and very sad, the poet explores feelings of neglect and abandonment, as well as a plea for rekindling the lost connection. It reflects on the pain of being sidelined and the desire for reconciliation in a relationship that has become strained.
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm interested in how well it is written as well?
🤔Okay, I'm definitely sure you're gonna block me after I give you my comment on something you asked for. Here you go!
You're welcome, but I find it perplexing that you're inquiring about the quality of your writing when my role isn't to critique or evaluate it. I'm not an educator or academic; I'm simply someone who comments on poems that resonate with me. To be candid, your poems are quite somber and unsettling, as I struggle to connect with them personally. Nevertheless, it seems you're seeking feedback that I'm unable to provide. I apologize for any disappointment.
I would never block you friendship! Thanks for being upfront. I'm sorry my poems seem unsettling. I guess I know the utter depth of sorrow and I lean to what is familiar to me. Point well taken. I will adjust my sails. In my history you may find more poems more like "Dawn" more appealing. Maybe I shouldn't have asked that question. I was on a site that offered more critical feedback so I've been looking for that. Know I understand our role. I always appreciate your in depth look at my work. All my best -katie
Katie, I appreciate your decision not to block me. Regardless of my potential issues with relating to your poems, are my issues other than that be yourself. I will continue to read them. Thank you for not blocking me. I wish you a great day.❤️
You as well Friendship!! Tomorrow will be a fresh, happy one.
Yes indeed, every day, life is great.
They do say, new year, new change.
Some hit the gym, some hit the road never to return.
This is why you should never totally rely on anyone.
Paul, thank you so very much for your comments.
The bottle is a theme I have noted already and this write seems to add to it and if you would complete it. Nicely done katie
Thank you! Confused though what do I need to complete? Where how you seen this theme out of curiosities sake?
You are most welcome Katie, no by complete I simply meant outcome where does it go from here, is it hopeful or dark the absence of direction leaves a sense of tension and if that is what you intended it is well done
Yes!
Good write K.
Thank you so much Dee!!!
Emotive words Katie but it is not the way I live my life.
Andy
No most of us don't live our lives in this fashion. Just trying to evoke a feeling for those that do. I focus as much on the writing itself as the message itconveys. Word use, structure, flow etc. Our poetry instructor always write the poem that only you can write and make it powerful.
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