feelings...

hard when u realise that u cannot love urself when u lose the people that love u

the people that didn't share ur blood

but accepted every single thing that made u – u

now u just feel like everything that u liked ab u

is just another big flaw that everyone sees

bc after u feel left out and they don't realise it

everything in the world feels small and not worth paying attention

every mini problem seems gigantic and unsolvable 

every reel that u used to share daily to ur bsf now just seems forced and something that uk they will not see

everything u wanna do seems just a hopeless dream

since u have no one to do it with u

nothing is enough to make u see the world's spark again

almost anything will make u cry and u just can't help but cry urself to sleep bc u just can't share anything with them

u can't really be happy

ur just having fun now and then

but when u stay alone with ur thoughts for 15 seconds

everything goes back to the way it is

ur back to reality

the place where it doesn't matter how much ur trying

u will never be enough to make everyone around u happy

trying to do stuff u like it's just wasting time

since u have nothing better to do

and sending messages to those people just makes u feel down

feel doubt

will they even be happy to hear from u?

u wonder

or r they just responding out of politeness?

politeness for a relationship that one day was incredible

now it just feels forced and something that'll die with time...