She was a prize, a balm for sore eyes
At twenty seven a little piece of heaven
With long blond hair at which men would stare
Her sapphire eyes would draw men's sighs
Long legs and butt like a bubble, curves that spoke of trouble
Pearly white teeth formed an angelic wreath
Candy found on a dance floor, the wrapper his eyes did explore
A sweet that caused him to drool turned him into a fool
Thinking his dreams come true when she said I'll come home with you
Wanting to be sure, his hand did explore
Nothing she did ban, he sighed with relief finding she was not a man
Silly boy, I don't have that kind of toy
I'm not like your aunties I don't wear panties
At his house, fingers fumbled to unbutton her blouse
Inside the subject to his quests, two firm snowy hills as breasts
His manhood against his pants did press as she began to undress
For more he started to beg, then gasped as she took off one leg
Then she put her teeth in a glass, pulling padding off her ass
Removing her wig of long blond hair, at her bald head he did stare
Taking one eye from her skull, revealing a deep dark hole
Saying come give me a massage, on her groin a tattoo said boner garage
Beware candy you pick up off a floor, unwrap it before you ask for more
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Online) - Published: February 21st, 2026 02:53
- Comment from author about the poem: Based on the trues story of a friend many years ago
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 31
- Users favorite of this poem: Paul Bell, Tristan Robert Lange, Efrain Cajar, Bri J
- In collections: Humor, Narrative.
Online)
Comments10
Oops! Good write SB. heehee.
Thanks Orchi appreciate the read and comment. Yep once in a while you got to be naughty.
This is an amazing write.I love the rhyme very musical.The story is captivating.It keeps you guessing all along.Beware of that which glitters it is not always gold.Very entertaining.
Thank you David for the read and comment it is as always most appreciated. Although poetically embellished a bit (she did have teeth) it is a story of a friend that he found hard to live down.
Disturbing story dude...This image of teeth in a glass of water s a total love killer ...
Thanks so much Lorenz for the read and comment. Some men prefer it without teeth, no threat of injury with only gums
Bleah !
This is why you shouldn't drink more than ten pints at a time, cos everything looks great in stupor.
In saying that, this is why you go back to the pub the next day and drink another ten pints to forget what the hell you woke up to.
Thanks so much Paul your review and comments are most anticipated and valued. Yes watch what you get the worst things can come in pretty wrappings. Had a friend that used to wrap up his garbage in a box with pretty paper and leave in on public benches to get rid of it.
Elegant, well done. Sophisticated.
John
Thank you John for the read and comment your words mean a lot
Soren, this blends caricature, caution, and grotesque comedy into one escalating narrative. You lean fully into the absurd to expose shallow assumptions. It’s provocative, irreverent, and intentionally over-the-top. A bold, theatrical piece. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thanks so much my friend for the read and yes although embellished with a bit of poetic license it is based on a true story of a friend that took out a woman that I also knew that had an artificial leg, a glass eye and was bald and had to wear a wig. I added the teeth for effect. He was quite surprised on their first date not knowing that she had the glass eye or artificial leg since she always wore pants. I don\'t know about the tatoo but thought it would add a little spice.
Oh wow! Yes! That makes it even more powerful, actually. Loved this one, my friend! Hope you have a great weekend.
Have a great one yourself Tristan
Your friend must be the author of one of the oldest sickest jokes in a whole library of sick jokes, Soren. Good to know you can identify him.
Thanks so much Dave would have thought so too had I not met the one legged lady with a glass eye. I personally didn't think she was as attractive as he did but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
. Fun rhymer Soren, well told. Your reference as to source though could, I feel be usefully subjected to review.
I heard that joke when I was very young, still a virgin. It didn't put me off and can record that I at least had no such experience.
https://folksongandmusichall.com/index.php/side-by-side-dismantled-bride-parody/
Wot? Not accordingly adjusted?
Aware of even the Big Boppers song Old Maid. Funny how reality parities art or is it art that parities reality. Have to admit that she was probably more like thirty five but that didn't rhyme so with a little poetic license I took the liberty. After all this is a poetry site.
True...........
Quite erotic then the Cold Shower half way through.
Enjoyed.
Thank you Kevin for the read and comment it is most appreciated
Good fun write soren. All that glitters is not gold.
Andy
Thank you so much Andy I appreciate your review and understanding comment yes things are not what they appear.
Oh my! I was not expecting that ending but now see the importance of the title! Very good and unexpected read...love when I get surprised!
Thanks so much for the read and comment it is deeply appreciated.
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