It is not just metallic but the taste of rust on my fingers
It is not only dust but the smell of must that lingers
The rough touch of cutting black corroded steel
Red flowing blood warm rivulets droplets to feel
Drips echo hollow ripples on a concrete floor
A hot cast iron stove glowing visions of the poor
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Offline) - Published: April 5th, 2026 03:11
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 145
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, Carlos Alberto BUSTILLOS, Tristan Robert Lange, Allie561
- In collections: Adversity, Nostalgia.
Offline)
Comments18
Good write SB. Rust and dust for KP! lol.
Thanks so much Orchi for the read and comment. Don't go making me hungry now.
It's strangely beautiful. The imagery is intense and tactile.
Thanks so much Ellen for the read and comment it is most gratifying that you captured the essence of the poem so quickly. Indeed the difference of the new and the old is in the breadth of sensations with the old and the narrowing of the new to visual and auditory. Your words are most appreciated
good write my friend, much enjoyed
Thank you so much for the read Norman and kind words of support they are most appreciated
most welcome
This reminds me of something hidden in a piece of wood in st Peters Square Rome. 🌹
Thank you my friend for the read and comment it is deeply appreciated and as for that hidden object I will wonder
It hangs in the air like an oppressing industrial scent of laborious dawns...
Thanks so much Lorenz for the read and comment. Yes fumes from the past
Rich images. Excellent!
Thank you Katie I appreciate your read and kind words
Blood seems to traverse the elements with equal presence. 🩸 🙏🏻🕊
Thank you so much my friend. Indeed you see this too, how marvelous. It contains Iron like the stove, water of life and is the line we follow to our origin.
Quite so and it’s scent attests to all these as well 🩸🙏🏻🕊
Your poem is gritty and intense 😊, painting a stark picture with vivid sensory details. Very well written!!!!
Thank you so much Salvia it good to hear from you again I appreciate your read and comment
Tremendous work. Powerful.
Thank you Thomas your words are most appreciated
Soren, there’s a raw, sensory immersion here…taste, smell, touch, all layered into something heavy and immediate. That rust line anchors it, and everything that follows builds from there into something you don’t just read, you feel. It lingers. Well done, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you so much for your read and understanding. It is most appreciated
Great write… love the rhyme
Thank you Abdullah for the read and kind words of support
Soren I could simply feel this on another level. The way you describe it as not only being able to feel it but to taste it as well was such a strong image. This was a great poem.
Thank you so much Allie for your read and understanding comment it means a great deal.
You’re very welcome, I’m always happy to comment.
Reminds me of my Working days with the Steel and the Forge.
Thank you so much Kevin yes that would be a good comparison. I appreciate your words
Super write soren leading to all kinds of thoughts.
Andy
Thanks so much Andy your words of encouragement are deeply appreciated
So much blood .. reads like a crime scene .. and in a sense, I suppose it is really .. Neville
Thank you Neville I appreciate your read and interpretation it means a great deal
oh my gosh chilling
Thanks so much Itchy your words are most important to me
What a great way of bringing all the sensations together to paint such a raw and vivid image. Admirable work
Thank you so much for your kind review. It is deeply appreciated and valued.
It feels like there is something alive and true in this rough atmosphere.
Thank you so much for the review and expression of feelings gained
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