Now lookie here....
What DO they do?
These characters in soap serials
Day after day, never-ending
But not usually weekends
They swan about, doing nothing
Examples are:
A doctor in a show, only works about once a fortnight
Got no patients!
A shop that is fully stocked
Cos it never has any customers!
And no one ever goes shopping
How do they survive?
Well, they're all made of wood - wooden acting!
And a terrifying song
Including the line:
'I want to stay for ever'
Completely bonkers!
It will drive ya mad if ya do
I can't stay one minute more! LOL
Ya knows the joke of a prisoner:
The sentence was 40 years in jail
Or one week of watching 'Neighbours'
(or equally ghastly UK show)
It was a no-brainer
He had to choose jail! Heehee.
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Author:
orchidee (
Offline) - Published: May 1st, 2026 02:52
- Comment from author about the poem: A humorous rant! lol.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 31
- Users favorite of this poem: Friendship, Tristan Robert Lange, Carlos Alberto BUSTILLOS
Offline)
Comments10
The thing I like about soaps is, you can watch them in 1990, watch them again twenty yearts later and nothing's changed.
A bit like prime ministers questions. The country is doing great and I'll definitely see out my term I'm told.
Thank you P. Yes, we live in the past. There they are, soap actors in repeats. lol.
My mother listened to them on the radio, my wife watched them and trying to be open minded I watched for a while too but found the candy to be rotting my brain and gave them up as a bad habit like methamphetamine. Addicting they are to many and should be a controlled substance. Good write Orchi
Thank you SB. It's a terrifying line in the opening song: 'I want to stay here for ever' The mad fools! lol. Well, it never rains there either, but there's no drought. Doh!
You’re most welcome Orchi
Great Job. Your poem revolves around the absurdity and unrealistic nature of soap operas and serial television shows. The poets humorously critique the lack of realism in these shows, pointing out how characters seem to have little purpose or engagement in their lives.
My friend, I’m telling ya…that shop ain’t a shop…it’s a GLUG distribution center 😂 Popeye’s in the back stacking tins of spinach that no one ever buys, just muttering “I yam what I yam” while the Neighbours theme plays on loop. Heehee. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you T. lol. Aww, we mustn't inflict that on Popeye - playing the Neighbours tune on loop. heehee.
One glug from him and you became all un-mindful again?! He's a terrible distraction. lol.
great write.. enjoyed
Thank you A.
You know why they are known as soapies, don't you? They do a better job of cleaning your insides out than any bar of soap does on the outside. Nothing like a good purge... But if you want proper relief you should watch them 'reality' shows like Love Island or Married at First Sight or Housewives of bloody everywhere...
Thank you D. Those botox filled, egotistical, unreal Housewives of..... some dump somewhere. lol. Fido helped me with that log word - ego-wotsit.
'And the Ronseal Award for Wooden Acting goes to'...
Yer not wrong. It's amazing how some Characters come out of a Coma and have no Side affects. Enjoyed.
Thank you K. lol.
Home and Away🕊️🙏🏻🤩
Erm, yes, lol. Apologies to Australian poets. Choose an equally ghastly UK soap. You want to 'stay for ever' with that soap?! lol.
lol! No skin off my nose 👃🤩🙏🏻🕊️
Ruthless and hilarious. Every soap fan secretly knows it’s true. Nicely written!!!
Thank you S. Yep, it's all true, we know lol.
some soap operas are so bad they put you off the small screen forever - your rant is well timed...
Thank you N. Yes - and they go on for ever - groan! lol.
Agree. 👍 the worst ones go on and on 😬😱
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