My Sadness

My Sadness

It reaches beyond my mind

And scratches me and those I love

As a kid, I was happy, ignorant and loved and played

After Mom left, I buried me

I’d sit on the rocks in the mountains

For hours, everyday

Hiding from the world

The rocks left imprints on my ass

Like my scarred memories left on my soul

I buried it all

But it trickled out over 34 years

A rare sickness

Hidden from my thoughts

And ruined us

I am forever sorry

I’ll feel that way until the universe

It stops expanding

I hope forgiveness lives inside you, some day

I hope how I was, you can put that behind you

The pain and bruises, trust that they will fade away

Like dead leaves do

Let the leaves fertilize your heart and mind

Don’t let me and my actions continue to ruin you

And find someone to build a white picket fence with

A lovely soul who helps build a moat around your heart and loves you justly

Who will guard it fiercely

Someone that deserves you and your smile

And that deserves the same from you

Allows you to grow into your power

Your power!

It will tower over your heart and the lives you touch

When you are ready, let yourself grow into it

Lean into it like standing against hurricane wind

I love you forever