You're opening a Tin and the Ring Pull snaps:
The Telephone Rings when you're having a Nap.
Awaiting with joy a Billet doux in the Mail:
But there's Leaflets on 'Drainage' and a 'Great Carpet Sale'.
Going out for the Night with much Styling of Hair:
A Gale then picks up by the time you get there.
You think you're 'The Fonz' they'll be Girls to Romance:
But it's Crazy Edward Scissorhands that arrives at the Dance.
Your seat in the Cinema is next to the Chump:
Who uses a Straw like a loud Suction Pump.
The TV Set blows , a Million to One:
And just before Poirot explains how it's done.
The Wife of your friend is Glamorous and Hot:
Yours Wife's like a Hobo and Belchers a lot.
The Reunion at School that shows life isn't fair:
When the 2nd Year Drop Out is a Thrice Millionaire.
You arrive at the Dentist and the Surgeon you meet:
Has the breath to fell a Rhino at 200 feet.
But of the great many trials in this strenuous old life,
The kick in the Groin that causes much Strife-
It's one of those Poems about the Things that we Hate:
Written by a Idiot who's easily Irate.
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Author:
Kevin Hulme (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 13th, 2026 15:53
- Comment from author about the poem: Years ago I used to read MAD Magazine - Which says alot about me- and there was a feature called: 'Don't you hate it when'. So this is my version.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 7
- Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett, Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments4
I needed that laugh today and for that a fave well written and rhymed
We all need a Laugh every now and then.
Thank you for Reading 👍
'Trouble is (my life) I can relate to many of them...
The Ring Pull happens quite often. Thank you for Reading.
MAD magazine was banned in our house but I snuck a read from my youngest uncle's stash. We also had Spy Vs. Spy among other reading materials.
There was another Magazine called 'Cracked' but it was a Pale imitation.
Thanks for Reading.
Kevin, this feels like a wonderfully grumpy comedy monologue in poetic form 🤣 From broken ring pulls to Edward Scissorhands showing up at the dance, the whole thing commits fully to the misery parade…and the self-aware ending lands perfectly. Great fun, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Happy you liked it 👍
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