Night's bedroom

sorenbarrett

Cascading transparent sheets of rain leave a grey stain on the hills
Shadows muted, greens diluted, mist over them spills
Grass cries as light dies running into muddied pools
Lachrymose drips a bough grips, dropping liquid jewels
Muffled song of birds, blurred all human words, everything fades
Stillness of breath in day's death as sky pulls down the shades

Comments +

Comments13

  • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

    Most descriptive write my friend, much enjoyed

  • David Wakeling

    Some beautiful yet ominous images here.I like the use of adjectives to strengthen the vision.A well constructed view that the storm is coming

    • sorenbarrett

      Thanks so much David for the read and understanding of this piece it is as always most appreciated my friend

    • Friendship

      Lovely write. Your poem captures the transition from day to night. I like how you illustrate the melancholic beauty of nature as daylight fades and darkness envelops the landscape. It evokes feelings of sadness and introspection, emphasizing the emotional depth of this quiet time.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you so much Friendship for your read and interpretation they are deeply appreciated and valued. I love your view of this

        • Friendship

          You're very welcome, my friend.

        • Neville


          For some reason or reasons, I just couldn't stop the smile upon my reading - Stillness of breath in day's death as sky pulls down the shades .. excellent .. Neville

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you so much Neville for the read and kind words they are deeply valued my friend

          • Tristan Robert Lange

            Soren, this reads like a rain-soaked elegy for the fading day. Mist, blurred hills, muffled birdsong, muddy pools, and dimming light all gather into a richly textured atmosphere of quiet natural sorrow. Wonderfully written, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you so much my friend. I appreciate your review and kind words of understanding. I had to write it since this was what greeted me yesterday as I arrived back in the country.

            • orchidee

              A fine write SB.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks so much Orchi it is appreciated

              • Marek

                I really enjoyed reading this one, Soren. It presented me with clear imagery from the beginning and it also spoke to me. I like nature poetry and this one puts a grotesque ending to what might have been a beautiful sunny day (that you maybe missed, according to your earlier comment). Thank you for putting it in words, and nice work putting it in my minds eye.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank you Marek for the look and most kind comment it is as always most valued

                • mylastwrites

                  Beautiful imagery with your word palette. A wonderful write. Thanks for sharing.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks so much for the read and comment it is most kind and deeply appreciated

                  • Katie B.

                    Wonderful imagery!

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you Katie your words are appreciated

                    • Kevin Hulme

                      Even a Rainy day has some beauty in it . Especially the sound of Rain on the Trees, and the misty fields.
                      Liked it.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you so much for the read Kevin and for your kind comment it is appreciated

                      • Soman Ragavan

                        "Grass cries..." This must be out of joy. We will notice how resilient grass is. Even after prolonged drought, when all grass has disappeared, new grass will sprout up again. That is a wonder. It played dead but arose again from its ashes...

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks so much Soman for the read and comment it is most appreciated

                        • Goldfinch60

                          But those shade can be pulled soren and the light will come back.

                          Andy

                        • mohammad ali

                          So beautifully described, dear, as usual! I'm sure you're a master of poetry.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you so much for the read and comment it is most important to me. You are very kind and generous but I do not consider myself a master by a long shot just a lover of poetry

                            • mohammad ali

                              A creative poet with a deep imagination, so beautifully composing poems like the great classical poets I think and feel, dear! Wonderful in my opinion! Thanks to my university teacher of literature, who guided me through this site and who told me dear Sorenbarrett is so attentive to the works of even new members.

                              • sorenbarrett

                                You are so kind Mohammad when I first came to this site there were several supportive people and one in particular that took me under his wing and was so attentive and encouraging that it changed my life and I swore I owed that gift back to others that are starting and if I can make a difference for just one poet and encourage them to keep writing then I would feel that I had given back a little of what was given to me.

                                • mohammad ali

                                  And this is humanity passing hand to hand. God bless you and all those who try to keep alive the light of humanity in this wandering world! Thank you very much, dear Soren, for taking time to write me your insightful story.

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    You are most welcome it is my pleasure Mohammad



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