Gingerbread men

sorenbarrett

A mistake, salt for sugar in a cake, what the hell did the baker bake
Two that look the same, taste will proclaim the baker's blame
Divine plan to make a man, God with haste the recipe did scan
The baker above mistook hate for love, baking salty snake in form of a sugar dove 
Used the seed of greed from a Gypsum weed
With this bitter flour man by the hour grew more sour
With little heed he did proceed, instead of raise man did recede 

Comments +

Comments16

  • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

    a good write that flows

  • David Wakeling

    This is a very interesting view of the human condition.As if all the wholesome ingredients that we prefer were replaced with vile opposites.I must confess that I share the view point of the poem some times.VEry clever piece.I like the internal rhymes.Excellent

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you David for the read and interpretation that is spot on what was intended. Not that we don't contain wholesome ingredients as well but there is too much salt in what was intended to be sweet.

    • arqios

      A powerful study in contrasts dear Soren🕊️🙏

      • sorenbarrett

        Thanks so much Cryptic for your read and comment yes indeed the world is full of contrasts. Your words are always most appreciated my friend

        • arqios

          Most welcome dear friend🕊️🙏

        • Prachi Dalvi

          Interesting poem!!

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you so much Prachi for your read and review

          • Tristan Robert Lange

            Soren, I really enjoyed how this balances humor, rhythm, and philosophical commentary together. Beneath the playful rhyme structure there’s a genuinely dark meditation on human decline and moral distortion. Beautifully done, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you Tristan for your read and interpretation of this piece it is most valued and appreciated

            • Thomas W Case

              You’re laying it out like a bad batch no one wants to admit they’re eating,
              Sweet on the surface, but there’s something off underneath that keeps repeating.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks Thomas that is it indeed. Ever bitten into a cookie where too much salt had lumped?

              • Lorenz

                Because of a mix-up of ingredients the divine baker created the strawmen...

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks Lorenz and so it was

                • Friendship

                  I am retracting my prior comment and would like to formally apologize for my misguided interpretation of your poem. It is a commendable piece of writing, and I should have provided a more thoughtful response. Your poem explores the idea of human flaws and the consequences of mistakes, particularly in the context of creation. Your suggestion that a seemingly small error can lead to significant problems, both in baking and in life, where misplacing love with hate can result in negative outcomes. It prompts contemplation on the nature of human flaws and the unexpected results that can arise from seemingly small mistakes.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks Friendship no need to worry all is well

                  • orchidee

                    Good write SB. Ahh, good another recipe idea for KP - gingerbread men made with sewage. Thank you muchly. lol.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks Orchi your cookbook must be full by now. Thanks so much for the read and comment my friend

                    • Teddy.15

                      You have me doubting Adam and Eve maybe it was just play dough with salt and sugar after all 🤣 I love salt my husband loves sugar. 🌹

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thanks so much Teddy for the read and comment both have their place some put salt on watermelon but that is a matter of taste.

                      • GenXer Sharon 🙏🍀

                        A catastrophe; for salt to be mistaken for sugar. It also is a powerful message of being mindful of who you let in your life.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Well said. Thanks so much for the read and comment my friend

                        • Kevin Hulme

                          Yes . Something went wrong in Heaven's Kitchen that day.
                          Good way of putting things.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks Kevin for the read and comment I appreciate your support

                          • Waiting for Silence

                            Creative metaphor that powerfully reflects on human nature and transformation. Good one

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much for your read and kind words of comment they are most appreciated

                            • Goldfinch60

                              One day humanity will used the correct recipe soren and love will rule the world.

                              Andy

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you Andy yes I have been waiting for that day but I don't think it will happen in my life time

                              • Alex Arnot

                                My only regret in reading this is that I'm a day late! Great metaphor and extremely cleverly written!

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thank you Alex for the read and kind words they are deeply appreciated and valued

                                • antra.coree

                                  So true one mistake is enough to forget 100 good things

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    Thank you Antra for your review of this older piece it is most appreciated



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