Leak

sorenbarrett

There's a hole in the roof through which the weather gets in
Drips from an outside storm falling in a basin of tin
It's left a stain of rusted rain running in rivulets before they fall
A song of what's wrong drumbeats measured in each metallic call

 

A leak has left the timber weak rotting the wood
A creak by the streak on timber once good
Dark spot that shows dry rot, form tempests and showers
A beam once strong that won't last long, days or hours

 

Rain and sun enter as one, through a hole where a roof had been
damage neglected becomes disaster expected as all falls in

Comments +

Comments17

  • Lorenz

    Everyday disaster melody ...

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you Lorenz for the review and so it would seem. "Rainy days and Mondays" sung by the Carpenters

    • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

      good write my friend, could also be describing the human body as it grows old and damaged

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you so much Norman for the review and interpretation. Yes indeed it could. Your words are most appreciated

        • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

          you are most welcome

        • David Wakeling

          Nothing lasts forever I guess. The Natural conditions and weather make sure of that.A thoughtful well constructed piece.Enjoyable

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks so much David for the review and comment it is deeply appreciated

          • Paul Bell

            Once we were the strongest beam, but through time weakness moved in.
            Now we wait for the inevitable which we know is just around the corner.
            Now, what song will bring the house down quickly.

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you Paul for your review and interpretation it is most appreciated yes neglect and decay always lead to a downfall.

            • Teddy.15

              A great metaphor in here imagery is superb.your last stanza is very powerful. 🌹

              • sorenbarrett

                Thank you so much my dear friend you picked up on the metaphor and indeed it is correct. I appreciate your read and comment Teddy

              • arqios

                What eventually happens is what has been allowed and what has been allowed is often deemed as having been invited 🙏🏻🕊️

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank you Cryptic for the review and comment it is always most appreciated. You said it right and most clearly

                  • arqios

                    Most welcome dear friend 🙏🏻🕊️

                  • Friendship

                    Nicely written, your poem serves to highlight the consequences of ignoring small issues, both in physical structures and in life, prompting us readers to consider the importance of maintenance and care in various aspects.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you so much my friend for your read and most insightful interpretation it is deeply vallued

                      • Friendship

                        You're very welcome, my friend

                      • Doggerel Dave

                        A POV is very much dependent on who or what is under that roof. Occasionally decay can be very picturesque; other times - early remediation.
                        Descriptive write, Soren.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks so much Dave for the read and comment your words are always most important to me

                        • RSM0812

                          Leaks in a roof are nasty. You summed it up in prose like a poetic champion.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you so much for your review and comment your summation says it all

                          • Neville



                            OUCH .. that was me trying to emphasise a yell of anguish, this is so close to home it's unreal .. I've just had to pay a fortune to get a new roof (Welsh Slate tiles) plus all the oak beams replaced on a barn & outbuildings that house my gym & sauna .. N

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much Neville sorry to hear that I have a leak in the states that needs to be fixed so I hear you.

                            • orchidee

                              Good write SB.

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thanks so much Orchi I appreciate it.

                                • orchidee

                                  Now me next poem: Sewage abounds - for KP. lol.

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    I hope there are no leaks in the sewer line

                                  • Tristan Robert Lange

                                    This feels bigger than a roof to me...like those moments in life where little ignored fractures quietly become collapse. I’ve seen that kind of slow erosion before, and you captured the creeping inevitability of it perfectly here. Wonderful write with a great use of metaphor, as always, Soren. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      Thanks so much Tristan you are right it is more indeed and it is just what you thought, general deterioration happens when care is not taken.

                                    • Kevin Hulme

                                      Yes , this could be the Ageing Process of our Bodies. Neglect a terrible thing.

                                      • sorenbarrett

                                        Thank you Kevin for the read and comment it is deeply appreciated. Yes it very well could be the aging process

                                      • marissa

                                        There’s so many ways to take this poem in!
                                        I personally took it as someone having their pure heart open to someone who is broken of heart.The damage left to the whole structure just because of the hole in the roof,is such a good example for things like planning something and one thing goes wrong,old age of a person,and even how crime turns bigger.Ive never read something so deeply layered!Honestly it made me think!

                                        • sorenbarrett

                                          Thank you Marissa for your read and kind words of comment yes it can be taken that way indeed. Your words are most appreciated

                                        • Goldfinch60

                                          Disasters can happen soren but they can also be remedied.

                                          Andy

                                          • sorenbarrett

                                            Thanks so much for the review my friend yes all things have an answer maybe just not the one we are looking for. Your words are most appreciated

                                          • NafisaSB

                                            This is so true- damage neglected leads to disaster- well said 👌👏

                                            • sorenbarrett

                                              Thank you Nafisa for the read and comment of support it is most appreciated my friend

                                              • NafisaSB

                                                You are always welcome - my pleasure to read and enjoy, - gives food for thought almost always.Take care

                                              • NafisaSB



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