Little one

sorenbarrett

A small finch sits on the deck awaiting his mother
He doesn't move just hunkers down awaiting what comes
Time passes sky darkens yet comes no other
Fear in his eyes, alone he trembles, no sign of mums

 

Onto the grass he wanders timidly looking around
Hungry he looks for food, he pecks at specks getting just air
Lost, bewildered a fledgling downed 
Now on its own all alone of danger unaware

 

Tall weeds, in the shadows, the flick of a cat's tail
Above the hoot of an owl, the call of a lark
What lies behind night's black veil
A little one swallowed by the dark

Comments +

Comments15

  • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

    Nature being nature, good write

  • David Wakeling

    I think this is clever.It can be taken as a simple but sad story of a lost bird.Or as a statement about the human condition.We are all lost birds swallowed byt he dark.Very poetic mi amigo

    • sorenbarrett

      Thanks so much David so glad that you quickly picked up on that. It was inspired by a small baby finch sitting on my deck yesterday too young to feel threatened it just sat there as I approached and although it would not fly it trembled eventually walking off onto the grass and wandering off.

    • arqios

      The state and condition that reverse anthropomorphisation elevates is stunning. 🙏🕊️

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you so much my friend for the read and understanding of the piece it means a great deal

        • arqios

          Most welcome friend🙏🕊️

        • Thomas W Case

          There’s a tender ache in this—the smallness of that finch against a world that doesn’t pause for him.
          And that ending lands quiet and cold… nature moving on, even when something fragile disappears into it.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thomas only a true poet could feel that and I appreciate that more than anything else. ,Thank you so much my good friend

          • Katie B.

            The swallow of a cruel world. We can often be oblivious, naively expecting the best out of our fellow man. Well written and thoughtfully crafted.

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you Katie for your read and insightful comment it is deeply appreciated my friend

              • Katie B.

                My great joy!

              • Lorenz

                Nature is just in its ruthless way.Only humans no longer respect its laws .

                • sorenbarrett

                  I would tend to agree Lorenz our idea of justice is not the same Thanks for the read and comment

                • orchidee

                  Good write SB.

                • Paul Bell

                  Nature and the life she provides, or doesn't in some cases.
                  We see nature at work, but we probably don't see the darkside of it.
                  The finch won't survive without its mother, but maybe feed another.
                  That's nature in the raw, unassuming, moving on.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks Paul for the review and comment it is most appreciated. Yes we have a very narrow view on justice, fairness, balance and what is right in this universe. Nature has been around a lot longer and has more experience.

                  • Neville



                    Ouch, it seems there was more than just little old me that neva saw that coming .. 👍

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks Neville I do very much appreciate the read and comment yes few of us see what is coming.

                    • soheil khodaparasti

                      A touching and haunting poem that beautifully captures the fragility of a lost fledgling, reflecting the universal human experience of feeling helplessly lost and desperately in need of protection. The vivid imagery and growing sense of danger create a deeply sad and powerful ending — a very well-written piece.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Soheil for the read and interpretation it is valued and well thought out. Your words are most important to me and most appreciated

                      • Kevin Hulme

                        That wouldn't be one of Disney's better Films.
                        A good Write.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks for the read Kevin no probably not that popular but Bambi's family was shot as was Old Yeller

                        • Waiting for Silence

                          A beautifully poem that captures innocence, vulnerability, and the quiet tragedy of nature with clear and emotional imagery. Nice Write!

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you so much. I deeply appreciate your reading of this piece and your kind words of support and encouragement.

                          • Goldfinch60

                            Wonderful words soren, I had a young Goldfinch in my garden a few days ago feeding on the bird feeder, it was wonderful to watch.

                            Andy

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you so much Andy for reading this piece and your most kind remarks they are appreciated

                            • Tristan Robert Lange

                              Soren, what a heartbreaking piece. The quiet vulnerability of the little finch wandering alone through a world full of unseen danger really lingers with me. “He pecks at specks getting just air” is such a painfully vivid moment...small, fragile, and lost. The darkness closing in at the end feels inevitable without ever becoming overdone. Powerful write, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Tristan your review make the writing all worth while. They are deeply appreciated

                              • NafisaSB

                                Can imagine the little one’s plight and fright- you have described his trauma so amazingly

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  You are very kind Nafisa and it is most appreciated. Thank you so much for the review

                                  • NafisaSB

                                    always ,and most welcome
                                    have a good day !



                                  To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.