Father's Day '26

It is strange

 

This year I am balancing

 

what seems to be

 

very distinct,

 

very heavy,

 

conflicting emotions

 

 

And there's many of them

 

 

Today,

 

I am proud to be my father's daughter

 

To have been one of his 

 

last achievements,

 

in his too short life

 

 

Today,

 

I am mourning the dad 

 

I only got to experience 

 

for 436 days

 

 

Today,

 

I am celebrating my husband

 

as the incredible father 

 

to our daughter

 

 

All these feelings

 

go far deeper,

 

yet it seems I can only scratch

 

at the surface

 

 

I am grateful to have had

 

the dad that I did

 

 

I am torn that he has been gone

 

for twenty one, 

 

nearly twenty two years

 

 

For he would have loved to

 

celebrate Father's Day 

 

as a grandpa

 

to two precious girls

 

 

And I am at a loss of words

 

to describe how it feels

 

seeing my daughter

 

growing up with

 

a father that loves her

 

more than anything,

 

that is involved and active

 

 

She has everything in him

 

that I was robbed of

 

with my own father

 

 

And the emotion is not jealousy

 

Or anger, even

 

 

It is closer to a 

 

sad and deep

 

longing, 

 

that has been stretched out 

 

over two decades 

 

 

And a mix of

 

uncontrollable 

 

happiness,

 

the kind that makes

 

your eyes water

 

 

And though today is for fathers,

 

I get to give my daughter

 

a gift,

 

a father for her to keep,

 

to love her, to hold her, and be there

 

as she goes about this life

 

 

.t.h-b.