Notice of absence from Tristan Robert Lange
Life is full of seasons. This is a season of transition for me, where I will be moving with my family to a new location. As such, with much logistics to consider, I am doing my best to keep up. Please know if I accidentally don't respond, it is not because I am ghosting or becoming distant. Once things settle after the move, I am sure life will return to some normalcy. In the meantime, and always:
Read 👓, Write ✍️, Rise 🌅, Realize 🤯.
Tristan 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Life is full of seasons. This is a season of transition for me, where I will be moving with my family to a new location. As such, with much logistics to consider, I am doing my best to keep up. Please know if I accidentally don't respond, it is not because I am ghosting or becoming distant. Once things settle after the move, I am sure life will return to some normalcy. In the meantime, and always:
Read 👓, Write ✍️, Rise 🌅, Realize 🤯.
Tristan 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
I have a diagnosis,
If you please—
Better sit down,
Hold the cheese—
The prognosis ain’t great,
Hear that wheeze?
Don’t you speak
Or move, better freeze,
You seem to have contracted
Mouth, Ass, and Foot Disease.
You had better leave—
Set our minds at ease.
© 2026 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
First published on tristanrobertlange.com, July 21, 2026.
Tittu
-
Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Offline) - Published: July 21st, 2026 07:21
- Comment from author about the poem: Part of the Wait. What?!? collection.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 21
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, cellinic
- In collections: Wait. What?!?.
Offline)
Comments8
lol I know who I'd aim this prognosis at if I was the author, 🤣 excellent hilarious and I'm pleased to say I've never had this one yet, maybe it will spread 😂 but I hope not. 🌹
Much appreciated, Teddy! The title arrived first...and the rest practically wrote itself and was ridiculously fun to write...though I may have had one or twelve people in mind! Let us hope we both remain immune, my friend! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
I'd gladly have a vaccine 🤣 🤣
In the mouth, up the ass feet get stuck in the strangest places. A fun read and the illustration fit well. Made me smile I guess I identify.
Thanks so much, Soren! I suspect we’ve all known a carrier or twelve...and perhaps experienced the occasional symptom ourselves! I'll at least speak for myself there. 😂 I’m glad this ridiculous diagnosis gave you a smile, my friend! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
You are welcome yes if I remember correctly one of the symptoms is a peculiar onset of the taste of crow
Either that or knuckle in mouth 🤣🙏🏻🕊️🤩
Absolutely, my friend! I’ve encountered a few advanced cases...the contortions defy medical science, and sadly, there is no known cure! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
A sharp little jab wrapped in rhyme, with a grin hiding behind the bite.
Funny, fast, and a little wicked—this poem knows exactly where to stick the needle.
Thanks so much, Thomas! I had an absolute blast with this one...consider it my contribution to public health and everyone else’s sanity! lol 🤣🩺🦶🙏
Politicians get it all the time. Amusing Poem.
Thanks so much, Kevin! Our elected officials certainly provide an endless supply of case studies! lol 🤣🩺🦶🙏
Wonderfully funny friend
Much appreciated, Norman! I had an absolute blast delivering this ridiculous diagnosis! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
It made me laugh my friend
Oh, that's a great work, well-rhymed with clearly cut conclusions and emotional background. A fave, my friend!
Thank you, my friend! When life surrounds you with incurable cases, laughter becomes the only available treatment! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
Good write Mr Hunt, erm, Tristan. Why Mr H? Deffo don't answer that - WCAT! lol.
Orchi, Mr Hunt cannot comment while the investigation remains open...but Michael is reviewing the evidence with Hugh Jasper and Phillip McCracken! WCAT indeed! 🤣🩺🦶🙏
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