Too much

sorenbarrett

She gave everything to others, to husband, children, mother and brothers
Her joy in living to others giving, dressed in rags on scraps her hunger gags and lags
Starving sacrifice fueled her burning smiles, self immolation made up her styles
Losing control she gave away her soul in one of those donated bags of old rags

Comments +

Comments15

  • 2781

    Not sure about the last line but I read that greatest among you will be your servant.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you so much for the review my friend yes you have captured well the first half and you are right about that last line it is the barb on the hook.

      • 2781

        Fortunately for us, it may not be our decision. Who knows what get kept, and what is thrown back?

        • sorenbarrett

          Interesting concept

        • Neville



          this is a scorcher for sure ..

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks Neville your words are always most appreciated

          • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

            some are too generous for their own good my friend, much enjoyed

          • arqios

            Reminds me of mom. She disappeared from self too soon. 🙏🕊️

            • sorenbarrett

              Thanks so much Cryptic for the read and comment. Yes it is a mother's love or view of love.

            • Thomas W Case

              There’s a hard, unflinching look at devotion turned into self-erasure, where giving becomes a slow kind of burning.
              It aches with the cost of love without balance, leaving behind a quiet warning stitched into every line.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thomas I really look forward to your comments they are more poetic than the poem. Thank you my friend

              • Kevin Hulme

                There are some Selfless People about. They do some good Work : but make sure you keep sight of Yourself every now and then.
                Good Write.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank you Kevin for your read and comment on this poem your support is most appreciated

                • Friendship

                  Your poem explores the theme of self-sacrifice and the consequences of giving too much of oneself to others. It reflects on the emotional and physical toll that such selflessness can take, ultimately leading to a loss of identity and well-being. This is a woman who dedicates her life to caring for her family and loved ones at the expense of her own needs and desires. The societal expectations placed on women to be selfless caregivers highlight the pain and emptiness that can accompany such a role.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you so much Friendship for your review and interpretation of this piece it is most appreciated

                  • orchidee

                    Good write SB.
                    Why, yes, I gave away most of KP's clothes. I said to her 'But I thought they were old rags, dear!' lol.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks so much Orchi. Yes did she make you go buy her new ones?

                      • orchidee

                        Yes lol.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Oh well

                        • Paul Bell

                          Some do play the martyr as if that's the role they've been given in life.
                          The only thing is, once you start, people expect it from you, and in the end, you actually are the martyr.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you Paul for the review and comment. Yes some derive pleasure from masochism and seek fame as a martyr.

                          • Tristan Robert Lange

                            Soren, this hit me hard. There is nothing noble about disappearing beneath everyone else’s needs…and you expose that tragedy with brutal clarity. Powerful piece, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much Tristan for the review. Yes there is such a thing as taking a virtue too far and turning a kindness into martyrdom

                            • David Wakeling

                              This is quite sad but a tale of loosing yourself in the needs of others.A common tale but tragic.I like the clever rhyme and the cadence is impeccable as usual compadre..

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you David for the read and comment it is most appreciated and valued my friend

                              • James Michael

                                A common mistake amongst writers is to misspell losing as loosing. No worries, an interesting write overall.

                                I do hate myself for being a jerk! ChatGPT said that I am.

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thanks so much for the read and comment. your help is most appreciated

                                  • James Michael

                                    Your welcome, or you’re

                                    • James Michael

                                      Really

                                      • sorenbarrett

                                        All help is welcome

                                      • Teddy.15

                                        My dear Sorrenbarret, darkly beautiful my friend. I know a woman like this. 💜

                                        • sorenbarrett

                                          Thanks so much Teddy for the review and kind words they are always most valued. Yes I think we all know someone of this sort

                                        • Goldfinch60

                                          Giving to others can sometime have a drawback as well soren but it must still be done.

                                          Andy

                                          • sorenbarrett

                                            Thank you so much Andy I appreciate your review and comment yes everything in moderation

                                          • Dan Williams

                                            I see in this another of the all too common human deficits, disregard for genuine heroics.

                                            • sorenbarrett

                                              Thanks so much I do appreciate your read and interpretation of this piece. Yes indeed it can be taken that way



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