"We'll See."

When we first met, 

I didn't think we'd go so far

And then stop. 

He's married and has a kid, 

I knew that, 

Yet I indulged because it was 

All about what I want. 

I jerked him off and walked 

Away guilty.

What have I done?

Why would I do this?

Then I begin feeling attraction.

Ew.

Yet I keep chasing chaos.

We went further days later. 

We went from jerking, 

To fucking.

Guilt washed over me again.

Why did I do that with a married 

Man who has a kid?

I feel like the asshole, 

When nothing's seemingly destroyed. 

Two days later, 

I asked for sex.

"We'll see.", 

He said.

We had a talk, 

"This won't be a continuation."

That's when something shattered, 

Within me.

Where is this chaos going now?

Where do I redirect this chaos to?

As loneliness creeps in, 

I sit here regretting my decisions.