change

i have not quite left yet
but the time is near
there is excitement here
but also fear

i am standing in
the swirling gyre of
everything i have ever known
every night in my childhood home
and the echoing void of
what comes next
with uncertainty knitted
in the skin of my chest

i am excited
and nervous
and choosing this
on purpose

how lucky am i
to have the choice?
to recite this poem
in my own voice?
the start of something new
will always be strange
but so is the cage
of staying the same

there are no bruises
on my face
there are no words
i don’t have the guts to say

once
i thought
i was insane
now i know
i was changing

isn’t it amazing?

once
i found change
enraging 

now i am
eagerly anticipating
the awakening
of what comes next
with bated breath 

i have not quite
left yet
but it is approaching
and i am hoping
this next chapter
is one
i make myself home in. 

22:59pm - 23/08/26 - my bed.