Yes I remember Sir Malcolm, he wasn't a bad old sort, Though a trifle bad tempered it's sad to report.
Like the time that I borrowed a Prized DVD;
'The Bells of St Mary's' that I wanted to see,
But on the return I put in the Wrong Disc-
A Simple mistake I had to insist-
And when lent to the Vicar and his family at home;
'Lesbian Lust 2' was the Feature being shown.
Now his proud reputation as a 'Good Family Man';
Is quickly descending down the Proverbial Pan.
And he once owned a Monet: 'The Breaking of Ice';
It seemed a bit grimy so to make it look nice,
I'd apply a bit of Water, it couldn't really hurt;
But grabbed the wrong Bottle and scrubbed it with Turps.
When I told him what happened, I just had to smile;
Though he looked like The Hulk with a bad case of Piles.
And what of the time - I Chuckle when I think-
And if Memory serves, It caused quite a stink.
He went for a Holiday: Santorini in Greece,
For a much needed Rest and Tension release.
Then what are the Odds, you'll be hard pressed to find;
He was Booked in a Room adjacent to mine.
The look on his face was a singular sight;
When I told of my Plans for a 'Rave' every night.
'I demand another Room and don't care if it's Late'
Then was disturbed every Night by the Smashing of Plates.
And By the By I must now Confide,
Him being a Proud Scot on his Mother's side.
We both went out walking one fine Summers day;
So he Wore his Best Kilt in the Traditional way.
When Lo and Behold we apparently got lost,
My directions it seems the ultimate cost:
'Just follow me Mally I'll get us Two Home,
No need for Maps on the Silly old Phone'.
'Across this land we're sure to find;
The Familiar sight of the Village Sign'.
And such language Obscene from a respected old Knight;
In a vast field of Thistles so late in the Night.
Well- Poor Old Mal is now laid down to rest,
And his Psychiatrist feels it's all for the Best.
And I've said once before and I'll say once again:
I've a sneaky old feeling that I was somehow to blame.
-
Author:
Kevin Hulme (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 15th, 2026 19:03
- Comment from author about the poem: Coming Soon : Was it Something I did 3 : The Revenge of Sir Malcolm. With a cast of Thousands and Award Winning Affects In HD and 3D . The Continued Story of, Ohhh I can't be bothered let someone else do it.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 6
- Users favorite of this poem: Paul Bell
Offline)
Comments3
An interplay here between the author and another well done as a reflection.
Thank you . Appreciate your Comments.
You are very welcome Kevin
Lesbian lust 2, granted not as good as lesbian lust 1, but still good family viewing in some countries.
I would like to think the old guy died happy, but even if he didn't, doesn't mean you shouldn't have a drink or ten in his honour.
It's what he would have wanted.
Thank you for Reading and the fave.
Nicely written
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