To My First Love

Do you know that your birthday is always the first to be marked on my calendar - every year without miss?

Almost a decade later I still can't bear the thought of something happening to you, not even in dreams.

I don't dream of you much but when I do it takes me right back to all those seasons I had loved you,

All of which you despised me in.

Autumn is my favourite season,

It's also the season I fell in love with you.

Do you know that you were the reason I started writing poems?

You are my very first muse, and I have written countless poems about you.

Did you think you would find a purer form of love?

Was I unlovable or were you just afraid?

Still unaware of the punishment I had to endure from others because I already had my first love,

Why was I forced to face those consequences when you weren't even mine?

- JJ