Important Exchange

Doggerel Dave

This product purchased on the internet:

Well known company completed the show.

The end of the matter? Oh no, no, no -

Correspondence a plenty, you can bet:

                  *

I must assess the purchase to be fair;

On some boot polish? Do me a favour.

Plenty more of slightly different flavour:

Product info polishes my inbox bare.

  • Author: Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 16th, 2026 18:34
  • Comment from author about the poem: Still looking for that elusive unsubscribe button…
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 25
  • Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange, Paul Bell
Comments +

Comments9

  • sorenbarrett

    A one I can identify with my friend. Gave a virus protection company a credit card number and when I tried to cancel they informed me I had to send in a request for cancelation. Did it no result, sent written request, no result, card company said they couldn't put a block on it. Had to cancel the card to stop it and they still have the balls to send me e-mail adds and threats. Nicely done Dave

    • Doggerel Dave

      This is a slightly different issue Soren, but one with which I can empathise one hundred and ten percent. I have been, some several years back, completely duded by a so called virus protection company which proved themselves totally incompetent in protection from a nasty but blockable (researched later) bug. Attempts to cancel and the company’s response followed your experience precisely, as did my ultimate move in card cancellation... and still the buggers continued to mail and attempt to charge me.
      Happy with my current company, recommended by my PC Doctor . If you need the name, ask.

    • Goldfinch60

      So many questions are now asked when we buy things on the internet which waste so much time.

      Andy

      • Doggerel Dave

        More than that Andy, It is a nonsense. I bought the item, paid in full. If I believed it was good value I'll use the company again. Bought a microwave off the same company from which I had purchased a fridge several years ago. Good company. But how many kitchen apliances do I need in a kitchen which closely resembles a galley on a yacht?

      • orchidee

        Good write D. Yes, I order boot polish online, so they can kiss Sir Orchi NS's boots, all shiny. He's become too big for his boots now, and he don't mean the shoe size! lol. Let's not wake him up - it will only start him off, like waking up a sleeping dog - Fido.

        • Doggerel Dave

          Please I impllore you, leave poor old fido alone. If he can manage to sleep in these troubled times, then let him.

          • orchidee

            If I wake him, he has to listen to me spouting rubbish! lol.

            • Doggerel Dave

              Precicely.

              BTW, It wasn't any old boot polish. Was a specially formulated concoction to complete the softening of leather. I would have been upfront and honest but couldn't fit the full story into a line.

            • Kevin Hulme

              As of yet: Never Purchased anything on Line.
              Prefer going into a Shop with Cash : Old School.
              But a Cautionary Tale never the less.

              • Doggerel Dave

                Oh yes, I pay cash when I enter a proper shop. Trouble is real shops are becomming few and far between. Locally I once had access to a full on hardware store that sold everything, including the proverbial kitchen sink. Now it is public transport and a hike to reach my more or less local Bunnings, my megamonster hardware outfit. No local cobbler in my area anymore, either.

                • Kevin Hulme

                  Yer not Wrong . My Town now has no Bank. Dentist Closed. High street all Vape shops and Takeaways.
                  The same all over. Have to travel to nearby Town for Shopping. Still have a Cobbler: so you'll have to come here for repairs.
                  A Side Issue: Chat Bots. Guaranteed to drive you Mad.

                  • Doggerel Dave

                    Got three pairs of shoes in need of care and attention. Took one halfway across sprawling Sydney, only to be told sniffily they don’t repair that brand of shoes. Medium to expensive brand. With so few shoe repairers left, they have gone all prima donnaish (he lady who handled my shopfront order wore white gloves (no lie). Cheaper to fly to UK with the two remaining pairs compared with what they threatened to charge me if I pushed the issue...
                    PS: Chat here, mate - leave them chatthingy bots alone is my best take here.

                    • Kevin Hulme

                      White Gloves? Be more offended if she also had a Peg on her Nose.
                      All the best 👍

                    • Tristan Robert Lange

                      Dave, you turned a simple purchase into a lifelong correspondence nobody requested...light, sharp, and wonderfully relatable. The modern marketplace captured perfectly! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                      • Doggerel Dave

                        Thanks Tristan. At first methought your 'lifelong correspondence nobody requested' was a reference to this thread... then completed my reading, and can only add a repeat Thanks, Muchly.

                      • Paul Bell

                        Lucky you weren't this guy.

                        The first letter was quite courteous
                        The payment was probably just an oversight
                        The second letter was slightly more direct
                        The third letter had overtones
                        The fourth letter was red
                        The fifth letter spoke of court action
                        The sixth letter gave a court date
                        They didn’t send a seventh letter
                        The Police kicked down the door
                        Luckily, you were dead..

                        • Doggerel Dave

                          Impending doom awaits me around every corner...
                          Thanks for warning of at least one possibility...

                        • Thomas W Case

                          There’s a playful absurdity here, turning the mundane irritation of an online purchase and endless follow-up emails into a little comic machine of rhymes and repetition. “Product info polishes my inbox bare” is the keeper for me, because that boot-polish joke suddenly gives the whole thing a wonderfully ridiculous shine.

                          • Doggerel Dave

                            You've done it again, Thomas. I should find a way to place your comment here alongside my piece; no one could possibility misinterpret my meaning then.
                            And you've got me - I do find much of my life and society absurd. No way to convince me otherwise.
                            Great of you to find the time to call.

                          • NafisaSB

                            Count yourself lucky if the product you buy online meets the specs they guarantee- or settle down for time consuming correspondence with indifferent sellers who lose interest once the product leaves their store- hope you got your issue fixed 🤔

                            • Doggerel Dave

                              Ah, now you’ve discovered my favorite hobby. I cannot fully describe the excitement I feel when I receive a deficient product from a big company. Contributions to MPS are for me a method of warming up or keeping in trim analogous to the way some folks attend the gym. Now at least several cases have taken up to nine months to resolve via very lengthy email threads and in one instance, after careful research, an exchange with the CEO in the US of A. Some folks like their chess, the email game does it for me.

                            • Neville



                              I suggest you scrub it ........ 😎👍

                              • Doggerel Dave

                                My correspondence is carefully measured, painstakingly directed with pinpoint accuracy. The scrub was merely preparatory.
                                Your advice is always thoroughly considered and, Neville, highly valued.👍



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