Resident Evil

Love the games, thought that I'd give it a go,

Was this really a zombie film, not really, no.

T-Virus that deviated from what we'd come to expect,

Feel like the director was insulting the fan's intellect.

Delivery driver has to get a package to Raccoon City.

That's literally the thin threaded storyline, what a pity.

Film went off the rails, crashed and burned in the 3rd act,

Threw in random things from the franchise and that was that.

We're told that it's slippery in a lab, 

Awful scene and I didn't even laugh.

Watch as all the Umbrella employees turn slapstick,

Main character was a gamer but couldn't shoot for shit?

A generic horror / comedy that slapped Resident Evil on the title,

Really don't think that I'll be going back to the cinema for a while.