The Things I Went Through [18+ Content Warning]

Content Warning: Mental health hospitalization, explicit sexual themes

The things that I went through

When I was just a boy

I had no motivation back then

And I had no joy

I share personal things online

So I leave myself stripped and bare

It’s not wrong but it risks what’s wrong:

Someone who could hurt me there

In the Oceans psych ward

I was stuck in the room with Jesse

Braden was afraid to talk to me

Because I looked strained and messy

Outside in the recreation room

That girl started twerking

Out in the open for all to see

I promised myself it wouldn’t be working

Later there at bedtime

Jesse said “You little freak!”

I felt the twinge of shame inside

The weird habit in my cheek

I waited until he fell asleep on the bed next to me

Because I did not want him to notice me masturbating

Then I locked on in my mind

To the remembrance of yesterday

I fucked myself while lusting at her when she twerked that day

I had a dream that night of Ceaser and his black boy friend

Smashing through the psych ward walls with a wrecking ball

Beckoning to me and Jesse “Come with us!

Let’s escape this prison so your time here’s at its end!” 

That girl Zoe had a crush on me

Back then at the Christian school

My sister grinned when she saw her come up 

And ask me for my cool

Back when I was in the sixth grade I almost kissed her that day

But then she saw blood drip out from my demonic eyes: Exposed

So I screamed in fear and ran away

And she stopped crushing on me when she saw me wasted away