This Great Land of Ours

Michael A. McGuire

Everything that made this Country
great is now illegal. 

In the past you could tell a joke
and the whole room would laugh with 
you.   Now it's only you and your
attorney...as you're paying them. 

Men used to have an intricate system 
they utilized in order to court and 
win over women.  Now it's straight to 
court and a restraining order.  

People used to enjoy eating out at 
buffets until they burst.   Now they
take medication that makes x-rays 
obsolete. 

Used to dive right into the ocean head
first and swim around for hours, then go
home with a nice tan. 

Now you crawl out of the ocean and hope
you don't have flesh eating bacteria or 
other toxins clinging to your sunburned
skin.  

Sex now requires upfront fluid samples and 
an affidavit signed by your Parole Officer 
and court appointed Psychiatrist. 

Women seem drawn to men behind bars. Why?
They know exactly where they are at all times 
...can't come anywhere near them.  They just 
take their canteen money and blow them kisses 
from the other side. 

In the past, you used to have Freedom of 
Speech but now...uh...excuse me for just 
a moment...

Yes, may I help you?  Come with you?  Why?
What do you want and who are you...

Look...I've got rights!  You can't just come 
in here and...Hey, you guys are pretty strong...

Sorry....gotta goooooooo...........

Comments +

Comments2

  • sorenbarrett

    A good write that tells of how the tables have turned from a man's point of view. Indeed I too long for the past at times. Well done.

    • Doggerel Dave

      At first I was going to take you to the cleaners over this, but after I reached
      “Sex now requires upfront fluid samples and
      an affidavit signed by your Parole Officer
      and court appointed Psychiatrist”
      I realised you were having a laugh, so I settled down and had a laugh myself.

      • sorenbarrett

        That's why I love ya Dave. And I mean that, you are one of the few that what you see is what you get.

        • Doggerel Dave

          Thanks for the endorsement, Soren, but we better await Michael's verdict........... We'll see....

          • Michael A. McGuire

            As you both have probably figured out by now - my poetry runs the gamut of Human Emotions - humor, pain, deep, etc. sometimes within the
            same poem. I suppose I was being sarcastic but truthful with this one - a little over the top but very close to reality unfortunately. Not sure if its
            in one of my poems here or not but I once wrote, "Life is the joke no one has the strength to laugh at".

            That said, please be as critical as you like because I won't get offended. As you can tell, I have a great sense of humor. That's what got me writing
            again after all these years...what do I really have to lose, right?

            Thank you both!

            • sorenbarrett

              Most welcome Michael

              • Doggerel Dave

                Hear Hear!

              • Tristan Robert Lange

                Michael, this is delightfully unhinged. By the time we hit affidavits, parole officers, and the sudden exit, I was gone. 😂 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛



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