With tears

With tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart, 

I look back at my life , all the way back  to the start

The lost childhood to becoming an adult too soon,

to the thing that made me a mother , still feeling doom

my daughter was born and I finally felt true love 

I know that God sent her to me directly from above 

I prayed for her when her heart wasn’t beating 

I felt Gods love and healing spread throughout my body the temperature mildly heating 

I prayed that I would follow Him no matter the cost ,

fast forward 11 years , when I left and my daughter I had lost ,

my right being forced from me when I was battling mental health,

but I still had the love of God - and it felt like I had all the wealth ,

now its been 4 years and still I haven’t seen her beautiful face

I failed her as mother and I’m falling in disgrace 

The biggest love I had - I left behind 

I sometimes think what would have happened if I could just hut rewind 

with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart 

I realize this was meant to be from God right from the very start