Thriller

I was asleep for an hour, it felt like three days, 

I was awake for three asking why everything was hidden in a haze

I jump and I shudder, I’m haunted by something with eerie ways

I don’t know what it wants, but this feels like extortion

I see the clock hands spin in opposite ways and every cell feels the torsion

Yesterday was a week ago, today is tomorrow, time distortion

The road, cars and trees all blend, they’re everywhere without existing

I step off the curb, to the left the whole world is listing

My eyes widen, jaw drops, but I’m too conditioned, this is okay, I’m insisting

The walls swim, ceiling crashes down, the floor races up

My chest seizes as I roll and jump

Somehow I’m unscathed, but not escaped, I’ll grab the whiskey and not bother with a cup

Nothing feels real, yet with the world I interact

It feels concrete in my hand, yet in my mind abstract

I’m questioning the existence of the brick wall as I make impact

I have no agency, I’m not my own

Asleep and awake, I’m in the in between zone

Trying to close the gap, I slam the door on my finger hard enough to break bone

It’s all or nothing in my head, I feel absolute hell or absolutely numb

My bed’s covered in pills, bottles, blood and vomit, what have I become?

I’m chasing anything to feel then drowning out everything I do to escape this dulldrum. 

My chest is an unbearable weight in the evening, come morn I’m lightheaded

I ask God why He had to wake me up when life is to be so dreaded

Just strike me down, my chest, brain and hope are completely shredded