So as time pass I sit here in class
Wondering if all you want is for me to touch a little ass
With thoughts in my head that I apprise and grasp
To a certain degree where I try and let lust pass
Attempting to find out if your brain is as good as you look
I rather be schooled by your knowledge then the intelligence
You can provide with your head but I know its crazy cause
You stay in the books
Let me begin writing on your pages with my pencil let me read
Your scripts I swear my tongue is a tool but it spits with a lisp
Words may get tied up and twisted but ill sound them out so it wont
Appear so congested
This novel I am devouring its so nutritious
The words im feeding my cerebrum is delicious
I would offer to share with the world yet that seems like such a far distance
Certainly these words out my mouth ill have to vouch for
So I reassure you that all needs well be accounted for
Gazing thru thee eyes of a man with taste on a tongue that
Wants to get you sprung see my thirst for enlightenment will surely get me hung
Ill perform such a piece that will have you Hitting notes that haven’t been sung
A masterpiece that’s hasn’t been won ill sore to higher
Altitudes just to get this done
So before the last minute in class I was wondering is that all
You wanted me for just to touch a little ass
-
Author:
Jay Solo (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 2nd, 2010 10:45
- Category: Erotic
- Views: 55
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments3
please leave comments im trying to know what i need to work on....
i need feed back and all that good stuff...
It is interesting and amusing too......
I like your touches of end-rhyming.
My personal preference is rhymed, rythmic poetry and presently I am studying sonnet-writing....I mention this so that my comment does NOT come off as critical of your work, okay?
Therefore I would suggest more consistent syllables, like 8,6,8,6 or 10,10,10,10 or etc. and a definite metre....iambic, trochaic, etc. and of course more end-rhyming....now, that is only my personal preference in poetry.....
I liked this piece!
Keep writing!
thank you and i take criticisms well
and idk how to put it in format cause im normally just writing rap lyrics
like that and just reading it off when i record so thats why its like that but thank you again for your criticism i appreciate it
In that case, wow! I'd love to hear you rap it out!
Good poem, its similar to a poem I wrote a while back which i'll upload soon. I'm not an expert but I'd say work on the syllabels and try and make it rhyme more...like every paragraph of so.
Love the ending, it reminds me of my lustful days and how much I've grown.
thanks ill take that advice into consideration
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