Fingers Crossed ??!!

Although I’m scared of flying,

( I always dread it on the day ).

I take pills to settle my stomach,

but I feel sick most of the way.

As we start to take off down the runway,

(  I always close my eyes ).

My fists I clench, I start to sweat,

and dig my fingers in my thighs.

Once the plane is up and airborne,

( I start slowly to unwind ).

The stewardess makes a fuss of me,

she’s really very kind.

As I look outside my little window,

 ( I can see how high we are ).

I forgot to say I’m scared of heights,

I wish I’d gone by car.

After several double brandies,

( I’m really starting to chill out ).

Dutch courage is a god send,

of that there is no doubt.

I’m told we’ve lost one of our two engines,

( so it’s going to be a longer flight ).

I pray we don’t lose the second one,

or we’ll be stuck up here all night !

As we approach the landing runway,

( this bit really is the worst ).

It would be nice to land in one piece for once,

I think I must be cursed.

As the engine shuts down upon our arrival,

( the co-pilot turns to me to say ).

“ Another excellent flight than captain,

 You’ve really earned your pay ! “