daddy

oh daddy

I'm crying right now

daddy daddy where art thou?

I've been looking for 20 years

Daddy what does that name mean?

A vulrenable invitation to eat me alive.

I exsist in this world alone.

I thought you promised to be my daddy in my hearts home.

I need a daddy, daddy,

To tell me I'm okay

I need a man who cares when I'm backed against the wall.

I hate my daddy and love him death,

But i feel I have no daddy even though he sits at the end of my breath.

I need a normal example an apporiate response

I need a true comment, a real commitment, a real dad

when I'm lonely I don't have a daddy,

I need a daddy more then ever,

but he moves futher away.

I need a daddy before I get a disaster.

When this downward spiral is over I may feel content again,

but I'll still have no daddy and always wish it could have been different.

I'll look at the others daddys and wish they were mine

I want a daddy who won't make feel ashamed

I want a dadddy who will make me proud

I want a daddy who gives me hope and a good example to look up to.

I want a daddy who loves life.

I want a happy, reasonable at least rational daddy.

I need a daddy I can trust but I can't trust him.

I need assurance that my life means something to him.

I don't trust a word he says I need the truth,

I need one real response.

I don't trust myself.

Maybe hes out there my real daddy whos meant for me

I think he'd jump at the chance to be my daddy

He would love to love me. I would change his life.

I would execpt his flaws and encourage him.

I would melt into his embrace.

I need a daddy not a band aid daily for my soul.

I need a daddy, can't you change for me?

Take a course or a class and give me some daddy!

I need a daddy relationship inside my home

I don't want to go looking for that male figure replacement in this cruel world alone.

I always have to make the first step to start the convo,  but the grounds not below

I fall and break all my bones.

My pain is immortal and its killing me.

I love my daddy and need him more and more

but i get him less and less.

Daddy you've always been the same

but I've grown, matured, and changed

but you've always stayed the same.

I'm not five. Your not thirteen.

Youre older then me, act older then me.

Damn it! I feel left out. Anyone can make me second guess myself.

I've tried to recycle my past into success but at times such as this,

 i know I needed him to be there so I never would have to write this.

I don't want him to love me for just one second one sweet compliment or one good deed.

My heart strings are damaged from pulling for him soo hard.

I'm terrified because I want a husband but I don't want to make him a daddy relacement.

I want to wash this sour taste out my mouth.

I'm more calm now but I need him to give me real rest.

I need my daddy voice to give me mine.

How much more does your creation need to beg?

Encourage me

Encourage me!

Show me how to live this life.

Warn me of the world.

Show me some tricks.

I'm worth your effort,

I am worth your fear of the first step.

I deserve your response.

I am worth a comitment to make an attempt.

I am worth some anxiety.

I am lovely enough for you to show me some love,

I am human enough to be treated decently,

I am hurting enough to speak.

If my daddy is weird does that mean I'm weird too?

If nobody likes my daddy does that mean thats my future too?

Will he always hurt me without lifting a finger? batting an eye? turning his head?

My daddy isn't anything I ever want to grow up to be!

But he makes me,

I think its inevitiable.