I got my dreams washed out of my eyes,
Felt the pain of those colorless butterflies,
I thought I didn’t deserve to be alone,
But I know now everything has gone,
I want to one more chance,
My last wish, one more demands.
Oh! I hold my breath for this thing to happen
I just want to spread love, no need of weapon.
I tried to do my best but could not
It doest not mean that I have lost
I want to one more chance
My last wish, one more demands.
I got hurt long by everyone
forgive me for the things that i have done
well i wish soon everythings gonna fine
once agian the rays of hope will shine
because i wanna one more chance,my last wish, one more demand...
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Author:
michael rex (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 7th, 2011 08:52
- Comment from author about the poem: once i was reading a newspaper containing the news that today whole world is burning in the fire oh hate. Love has just lost in the crowd of selfishness. then i put my thoughts on the paper which was this.
- Category: Sociopolitical
- Views: 113
- User favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy.
Offline)
Comments3
very nice..just check the spelling of 'know' and check the line's location...:)
Beautiful, fascinating, sweet. Your author's comment was complementary, lending more understanding to the poem which expressed it well anyway. Your metaphors depicted it very well, along with your reference to pain and forgiveness....all so expressive of love. I quite enjoyed it. Very nicely expressed! Your slight touch of end-rhyming was very pleasant as well.
thank you very very much from the bottom of my heart
i thought no one would like my work so apart
its really much pleasure for me that my work is being appreciated by some one out side of my country whom i have not seen till now.
i hope you have liked it very much and i need more kind of suggestion of you for my further writings.
i would like to ask you the meaning of this poem in your own words.
if i ask you to describe this n your thoughts, how will you do that.
how will you prepare the summery of this?
and everything from the literature point of view.
I've been busy....and it seems difficult to prepare something so comprehensive as a "summary...from a literature point of view", hence lazy wee me, dragged my feet....la, now let me try....Hahaha.....I just noticed you asked "how" I would do it, NOT whether I would...argh! Well, I drew on my limited knowledge from my own education...that's how. Anyway, since I did it...here it is:
Saying your dreams are washed out of your eyes is a good metaphor expressing now you see unblinded by your fantasies, washing being a cleansing signifies you are seeing more purely? The "colourless butterflies" symbolizing that which tantalizes but empty, deceiving/injuring you, which you enlarged upon, confessing to be likewise guilty in harming...but earnestly insisting on another chance to give and show "love" as opposed to the hate which destroys everything and everyone....you are so dedicated you wish for nothing else but to spread healing love,....a very noble sentiment. As I mentioned in my comment, your use of metaphors beautifully expressed your sentiments. That is all I can think of presently. Your grammar needs work...for example, "hurted" is not a viable word..."hurt" is past tense, made present or future by helping verbs, and editing out the error mannurajat noted would be wise as well. Hence it is a very promising piece with its metaphors and theme, but needs editing to perfect it. Does that satisfy your
request?
yeah
and thank you very much
i know my grammer is weak
as i am a student of biotechnology not English litreture
thats why these problems are coming
so its better that you make me aware of my mistakes thats why i have asked you to explain it
thank you very much
i hope you will be always with me for my further queries.
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