I remember like it was yesterday...When he said, with hands on my shoulder,"Tharun you're gonna be someone somedayAll you gotta do is try a little harder"
"Don't you ever give up",he always used to sayIts because of him I never learnt to walk away
Only one who was dare enough to joke about my TamilI wonder how such a happy man could ever fall ill.
A million times I crossed him,a hearty smile is what he gifts..
Lighting up my lonely, depressed, sad faceMaking my life a lot better with his warmth embrace
Walking Back home, that day from schoolHe saw my tear-filled eyes, clueless like a fool
Guided my lost ship back home, He was my north starTaught me that life's a battle that i must endure
A lifetime of "thank you"s would not doFor the things he did out of love so true..
"Tharun,forgot your way home",he used to kid,For I never visited him in years, I wish i did.
Her sudden illness just cut right through me.Never did he know about his degrading health, or did he?
Never could quite tell with his ever-bestowed smileThat always brightened my day, helping me walk the extra mile
Finding strength from within, I did the best I couldTo console his hearts with hopes and dreamsBut God had other plans it seems
Promised his little angels,"Everything would be alright""You know dad can't possibly leave you guys, right?
How could he when he loves u guys so dearlyHe would be back fooling around in a jiffy don't worry"
With eyes lit up, they looked forward to each dayWithout the thought of their dad pass away
Enjoying with him, then unknown, his last few daysNothing goes the way we expected as always
Like all good things must come to an end.The faithful day came when I lost my dear friend.
Bleeding from the inside with a broken heartFeeling totally ripped apart...
With heart filled with regret and remorseI saw those little angels writhing in pain with lost hopes
Crushed, battered, and bruised They must beWanting nothing more than their souls to be freedWho could blame them when grief overcame misery
I filled them with hope so forlornNow they feel left, in this wretched place all alone
Tears welled up,as he cries,"BUT YOU PROMISED"The very words I so dreaded
Nowhere to hide, I stand here all aloneA liar seeking forgiveness from a stone
I break down, with overflowing tearsThen out of the blurry sight, a voice whispers
"Thank you...", the two boys said.Something which I never quite expected,
"When we tried to forget the inevitableYou showed us that any thing's possible
As we were so choked up about tomorrowOur today went missing soaked up in sorrow.
Your reassuring words made us believeThough his chances of survival were ever so bleak
You made us see,not the dying star but its radiant lightHappiness,joy and love is what you brought,making our lives bright."
I cried my heart out, as I finally found salvationIndeed angels they were,lifting me from seclusion..
So happy and relieved was I and even more amazed than everSeeing their strength love, care and valor..
I know he's now in a better placeEven more close to God's perpetual grace.
As he begins the first day of his eternal life, I wish him well,I know without a tinge of doubt, in my heart he'll forever dwell..
And i know our hearts will forever touch I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM EVER SO MUCH.
Dedicated to a loving father and friend. T_T
-
Author:
Lovable Idiot (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 8th, 2011 08:05
- Comment from author about the poem: This is my second poem. Im 17 years old. I lost someone close to me. Very close . You know how when you feel your life is in ruins and you believe that nothing could go right, you feel that the whole world has crashed on you. Then you find a flower blooming, failing to whither away, out of the ruins. It springs hope in you. Thats the message i wanted to convey..hope i did it. Or atleast tried. I wrote with all my heart. So please comment criticise and help me be a better poet.
- Category: Family
- Views: 88
- User favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy.
Offline)
Comments1
While rather long, the story was well told. You appear to have perhaps a good touch of end-rhyming, if only you would break the lines up accordingly....ie. the story would be better told poetically if you just edited it a bit, seems to wee me. I enjoyed the bittersweet tale herein. You expressed the situation very well.
Thank you for the comment. I didn't know what poetry writing meant..I hope to improve as a poet. Thank you for the valuable piece of advice. I will do my best to improve. What are the stuff you think i could work on. May help me become a better poet
Okay, here is what I am referring to regarding end-rhyming and your apparent touch of it....take your first half-dozen lines, and I'll try to show you what I mean:
I remember like it was yesterday...When he said, with hands on my shoulder,"Tharun you're gonna be someone somedayAll you gotta do is try a little harder"
"Don't you ever give up",he always used to sayIts because of him I never learnt to walk away
Only one who was dare enough to joke about my TamilI wonder how such a happy man could ever fall ill.
A million times I crossed him,a hearty smile is what he gifts..
Lighting up my lonely, depressed, sad faceMaking my life a lot better with his warmth embrace
Walking Back home, that day from schoolHe saw my tear-filled eyes, clueless like a fool
....Now, below, I've divided it up to reveal your apparent end-rhyming:
I remember like it was yesterday...
When he said, with hands on my shoulder,
"Tharun you're gonna be someone someday
All you gotta do is try a little harder"
"Don't you ever give up",he always used to say
Its because of him I never learnt to walk away
Only one who was dare enough to joke about my TamilI
wonder how such a happy man could ever fall ill.
A million times I crossed him,
a hearty smile is what he gifts..
Lighting up my lonely, depressed, sad face
Making my life a lot better with his warmth embrace
Walking Back home, that day from school
He saw my tear-filled eyes, clueless like a fool.........
Notice that all I did above is divide your lines so that each ended with a word matching the next, where possible; thus we ended up with a quatrain, three couplets, and either another quatrain as I arranged it, or you could make it another two couplets. I got the idea to divide it that way owing to your capitalization, which made it look as if you did compose it with the end-rhyming, but merely typed it all up without the divisions. End-rhyming seems to me to be a key part of the good old poetry, and rythm is another....Rythm is frequently best achieved when each line has a similar number of syllables to the rest....hence in the way your lines were divided up to discover the end-rhyming, the first has 10, the second 9, the third 10 again and the fourth 12. Does that make sense?
Do you begin to see what I meant? Hope it helped.
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