i can seedarkness all aroundconsuming me taking meloving me embracing me talking to me
i can seehate all around calling me telling mefooling me making me killing me
i can seeanger all aroundburning me touching mefeeling me hating me desolving me
i can see grief all aroundhiding me sheltering me carrying me folding me answering me
i can seedeath all aroundshowing mefinding melaughing at me looking at me taking me
i can see all of that i cant seethe rest of anythingjust death, grief, anger, hate and darknessit all beckons to meeee!!!!!
i can seehate all around calling me telling mefooling me making me killing me
i can seeanger all aroundburning me touching mefeeling me hating me desolving me
i can see grief all aroundhiding me sheltering me carrying me folding me answering me
i can seedeath all aroundshowing mefinding melaughing at me looking at me taking me
i can see all of that i cant seethe rest of anythingjust death, grief, anger, hate and darknessit all beckons to meeee!!!!!
- Author: Lonelykaren (Pseudonym) ( Offline)
- Published: February 11th, 2011 14:01
- Comment from author about the poem: well i wrote this adn just to be clear i know thsoe things dont show anything but its just a figure of speech. In a way i guess it sucks. my teacher said your not a poet so STOP ha ha he wishes i did.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 27
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Comments1
Didn't your teacher tell you what you were doing wrong and what you needed to change to become the poet you aspired to be? That would be instructive and rather useful, to say the least. He didn't like the thoughts you presented in this?....I guess the problem is that once folk embrace free verse, there seems such a wide field that anyone can claim success in poetry, seems to me; and then again rhyme and rythm seem insufficient by themselves as well. Well of course I am nobody, but the images you presented in each stanza seemed good.
Thanks for your response. By the way you are someone in a way and my teacher said im not a poet cuz im too young and that in many ways deserve what is happening.. i dont know why he is mean to me but yeah
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