Kiss of love trying to make u cloud
No limitation of fly no other loud
First kiss this word make me so hotter
In winter kiss is enough no need of sweater
Close your eyes fall down in hands
Feel the heart bit faster than trains
Try to feel every second of first kiss
Because it full of love and bliss
Kiss is not only touch of lips but
It hope for a lover that she is not slut
When I was kissing my love
I want to kiss her so much
Sound when u kiss is like sweet
Kiss her so long so she can feel discreet.
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Author:
Jks (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 19th, 2011 01:33
- Comment from author about the poem: It's all about what i feel about first kiss ................
- Category: Love
- Views: 77
- Users favorite of this poem: Cheeky Missy
Offline)
Comments1
Sweet....delightfully romantic topic to write on. The image is so perfect too. A couple suggestions.....I would change "hiss" in the 8th line to "bliss"...same end-rhyme but seems more appropriate to this topic; regarding the 12th line, you might change it to something like "I want to kiss her so much" instead of "wove"....maybe?....just my stupid suggestions. Anyway, I certainly enjoyed this delightful little discussion on that wonderful first kiss!
Thanks i think u r right and i will..........
Excellent!..if I may say so. And your rating just went up to "9"...except they won't let me change it. Great job!
Rate doesn't matter if someone like my poem that's really makes me happy and give hopes for future of writing poems.................
Keep writing! I quite enjoyed it! It's excellent, especially seeing English is your second language! According to the rules of poetry, so far as I've seen, the same spelling is all too acceptable, yet "wove" for all it was viable, still did not seem to fit with my understanding of your topic. I presently use a "vocabulary of rhymes" in writing; mine is in the back of an old dictionary....but I have seen a site online offering such a service...you might try finding it, to give you more ideas when composing...just a suggestion.
thanks......
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