Rise and Shine

I get up in the morning

and wash down a handful of relaxation

with a hot cup of rusty water.

-Ask me how I’m doing

I take my place upon a broken rocking chair

and watch the clouds

reveal stories of loss and denial.

-I’ll tell you I’m fantastic.

I go to the bank and ask for a balance;

knowing my account is empty,

just so I don’t feel guilty drinking the free coffee.

-My confidence is steel

I wash my hands with lemon juice

and pour salt on my wounds,

to deter vampire slugs.

-but my hearts made of plastic.

I think poetry is for losers

and I only write it

because I’m a narcissistic asshole.

-Round chambered,

I cried wolf a thousand times

hoping he’d show his face

so I could take him on in a knife fight.

-my own betrayal,

I hope a dead crow falls from the sky

and his beak punctures the artery in my neck

and I bleed out and die.

-Fan Fucking Tastic!