A Calf Love Crisis

I couldn't be more sure

Of all the nostalgia I'd endure,

If I were to explore

A calf love crisis

That was so hard to cure,

How your mummy, she knew mine,

They'd been friends

For a little time,

Like the time that you explained,

Your first name, it was Jane.

I really loved you, Jane,

Though you only gave me pain,

You were the girl

Who said hello the first,

But it only ended for the worse.

In our local swimming pool,

I swam so close to you,

Did you smirk

To your bob-haired friend,

Between the deep and shallow end?

So I just shyly slinked away,

Feeling such a fool that day,

Pet Clark reinforced

My bitter woe,

Singing My Love on the radio.

I really loved you, Jane,

Though you only gave me pain,

You were the girl

Who said hello the first,

But it only ended for the worse.