Silent Communication

I don’t look up

Ever

But today I decide to

I see you

 

The one I used to call friend

The one I told so much

Not everything

But enough to make you cry

 

You’d hug me and say It’d be alright

We’d laugh and fall into silence

feeling comfortable with each other

It was nice

 

I’d told you of my parents

The confusing kiss

The nasty words I receive

Never elaborating

 

I cannot fully trust

I was always betrayed

In one way or another

You told me of your silly crush

 

Of the feelings you felt

Of the tumbling in your stomach

The quickening of your pulse

The urge to kiss them

 

I’d realized I felt similar emotions before

Towards you

I’d felt those things

It left me even more confused

 

I suffocated myself

I bottled m own emotions

To stay by your side

To keep watching you smile

 

I never confessed my feelings

But you’d left me anyway

You told him the way you feel

You fell in love and left me behind

 

I used to watch you from a distance

Until I did what I had to

Regrettably

I kissed you

 

I was met with a slap

I looked up to see tears in your eyes

Why would you cry?

I was the one who felt like she wanted to die

 

I ran from your house

And went to school the next day

Never looking you in the eyes

If I had I would have cried

 

But as I look now I see a smile

You look at him with love

I smile weakly

I’m glad you’re happy

 

Your eyes catch mine

I freeze

I look away immediately

I rebuild the walls and begin to cry

 

I let the tears fall silently

I feel time begin to pass slowly

I begin to run away

No longer caring about the their stares

 

I find myself at a staircase

Climbing quickly

I reach the top

Greeted by a metal door

 

I slam my body against it

It flies open and I fall on the floor

I lay there and cry awhile

Knowing you no longer care

 

I realize as I look up at the sky

I wish to fly away

I crawl to the ledge and sing a song

My favorite song, The one that makes me happy

 

I feel everything but happy

I pull myself off the ground

Look around

I see you standing there

 

Silently watching me from the doorway

You’ve probably been there all along

I’m confused as to why

I’m no longer needed

 

I watch as you open your mouth

I look away

I climb upon the ledge

Look back and sigh

 

This isn’t you fault I say

It was going to happen eventually

You don’t reply

Goodbye was my final word to you

 

It was my final word to that girl in the doorway

I pushed her away

She turned into smoke

She’d never existed

 

I only created her in my mind

I climbed off the ledge

I walked back through the halls

But there I stopped as I spotted someone who resembled you

 

She gave me a kind smile

I gave one back though it never reached my eyes

She then looked away

I was not needed

 

I headed to the bathroom to slit my wrists

As I looked in the mirror and pulled out a blade

A vision of you in my head replayed

I took one final slash and gasped

 

I hadn’t realized the damage I’d done

I looked at the mirror and sighed

I feel bad for the girl who will witness this sight

The blood spattered mirror and lifeless body

 

I’d cut until

There was hardly anything visible

The blood was rushing out

I was forced to sit down

 

I heard a small sound and turned my head to the door

There was the girl resembling you from before

she looked at me and gave a sad smile

She knew I was too far gone

 

She stepped towards me and laid me down

She sad beside me and held my hand

Promising to stay until the end

I watched in awe as a tear of hers escaped

 

I took my uninjured hand a wiped it away

I truly smiled

She then asked a question

Asking me for my final wish

 

I replied to her with shy smile

This is all I could ask for

Her gaze flitted around my face

She pressed a small kiss upon my lips

 

My eyes went insanely wide

She giggled at my surprise

She settled down by my side

We laid there but before my consciousness slipped away

 

I’ve had a crush on you for awhile

I feel as if you always looked my way

I feel as though you’ve truly seen me

This she confessed

 

I turned my head to see her

Her heard was turned my way

I pressed a gentle kiss to her lips

Goodbye, I said