What I Fear Most

When people ask me what am I afraid of

They may be surprised that my answer

Is not spiders, heights, or small spaces

But what I fear most is losing people

And I don’t mean losing them to Death

I mean that I fear people leaving me

Because the pain of rejection

Is worse than any physical pain

I’ve experienced, so when I say

 That I’m afraid of losing you

I’m saying that I love you

And darling, I never wanted to lose you

I never thought I would lose you of all people

Because there was something real

Between us, you felt like home to me

We haven’t talked in months

And I feel like I’ve lost you

I thought you needed time and space

But an unanswered ‘Merry Christmas’

Still hangs over my head and

If feels like you’ve pushed me out of your life for good

That is why I’m afraid to reach out to you

I’m afraid that you don’t want me anymore

I don’t want you to say

That you don’t want me anymore

I don’t think I could handle the heartbreak

I still care deeply about you

I still want to be part of your life

I want to be there for you

When you need someone

I just want you, but what I want most

Is for you to be happy

And if that means I’m not

In your life anymore then okay

Just please know this

I am always be here for you if you need me