I don't want to hate you

I don't want to hate you,

But for some reason these words come out whenever someone reminds me of your name.

Even though I am trying to get better at this

I can't when I know you were the only one to blame for this situation.

I don't want to hate you,

You showed me love when I didn't have any,

But you still left me.

And I'm still trying to pick up the broken pieces

That you smashed when you opened that door,

But I left my tweezers in my other coat pocket,

And I can't pick up these shards without getting cut

So I'll guess I'll just have to wait for now.

I don't want to hate you,

You made me happy,

But you've also made me sad

And the sadness has lasted for a longer duration of time

So I can't help but feel a little bit shitty about what you did.

I don't want to hate you,

Out of everyone I still hold a torch for you.

Even though I know what your true colours are

For some reason my torch chooses to ignore them and only illuminates the ones that I like

I don't want to hate you,

After everything you've done I still chose not to.

And it's not because hate is a strong word

It's because hate reminds me of love

And I don't want to remember the love that we shared all those years ago

I don't want to remember anything

I don't want to hate you.

I just want to be able to finally let you go.