A POEM I WROTE TO MY MOM
I deal with all the issues
Of you leaving me that summer day
I question if you even liked me or loved me
If you had, maybe you would have stayed
Like the day you sent us to get ice cream
I was only 5 years old
When I returned you were gone
I could only wondered if I had done something wrong
I use to worry about you a lot
And still do till this day
Wondering if you ever missed me
And praying that you are o.k.
I pray to God constantly
To some how have your love
I've cried about this so much
It cripples me deep inside
I've begged, pleaded, and prayed
To have your unconditional love
And often think that this is to big of a task
For my God up above
But when you went away
I missed you so much that I ached
And wonder how you can be away from me
And not feel the same way
I wish that I could tell you
My deepest secrets, worries, and fears
So that you can console me
And wipe away my tears
Mom I love you so much
With all of my heart
But even if you were near
It would feel like we're world's apart
I wish that I could take a step
Inside your mind and somehow understand
How and if I could mean less to you
Then you show me each day
I can not even begin to relate
To any aspect of your life
But I do know, that because of you
I know exactly what not to do
You will never know
Of my fragile, broken heart
I die a little more each day
Wishing the pain would just fade away
Mom, my only prayer
Before either of us leave this earth
That you get forgiveness
And some how make it all ok
I didn't want to hurt you
Or in any way make you feel bad
I only wish I could had known how it feels
To have a Mother's love mainly on this day.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
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Author:
paulamcnealy (
Offline) - Published: May 27th, 2016 20:44
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 23
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Comments3
WELCOME PAULA - For a very powerful and poignant first poem. - straight from your aching heart. Mothers are special and when they go (for whatever reason) it leaves an aching void in our heart - BRIAN
She left when I was 5 but she returned when I was 7 with another man. She married him and insisted I call him dad. He molested me at gun point from the age of 7&8 years old. They divorced when I was 9. I kept it a secret for many years as most do. Because I NEVER spoke of it she assumed I had forgotten. How do you forget something like that? When I finally told my secret she disowned me that day. I think the worse part of it all was she permitted him to molest me while she would take my sisters out of the home. When I would watch them leave I knew it was time to run and hide. I thought if only I could stay out of sight he wouldn't come looking for me but that was never the case. I only had two hiding spots and one being under my bed as I watch and WAIT for his feet to appear and in my closet While in My closet I thought if I closed my eyes tight enough he wouldn't see me as if I were invisable.
I write poetry because Its good therapy. So when you read my poems they are about my life.
My biggest regret is I will NEVER know what it feels like to have the love of a mother or a father.
Thank you for reading my poem and all you sincere words. I will be posting another one today. Thank you Brian. ❤Paula❤
Thanks PAULA that is a very moving reply. Life deals each of us a hand and there are happy cards and sad cards. Problem is the angst in the sad cards never ever go away ! I have always found poetry very cathartic, My latest one is sad because it's about coastal erosion in the UK. It causes a lot of sadness and unhappiness to those (often retired people) whose houses disappear into the sea. Looking forward to your next poem ! Thinking of you BRIAN
Both of your poems brought me to the edge of tears. That means you write real, powerful poetry. But now--to equalize things--write one that shows your joy!
I have those as well. Poetry is like therapy. I'm actually a very happy person. Maybe because I'm single. lol I will share a happy or romantic poem maybe tomorrow. Thanks for your comment 😋
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