Ah, depression,
My old friend.
I guess the time has come,
To see you again.
But you're an unwanted guest,
Like a burglar in the dark.
You're the monster under my bed, as frightening
As an approaching shark.
The lifeless, bony hands
Gripping and grasping,
Fingers around my throat.
You were never in my plans.
Depression, a sadistic being
You watch me thrash and gasp for air.
I beg for mercy, pleading, "Let me go,"
Instead, you undress me and leave me bare.
Vulnerable. Naked. Hopeless.
I accept what's ahead.
Besides, who can fight back
When you can barely pull yourself from bed?
I give up, give in, let you take control
I leave myself exposed
In the darkness
And let you break and consume my soul.
You don't let me talk or move,
Especially to cry for help.
You paralyze me, a nightmare come to life.
I'm unable to see anything else.
No love. No hate. No loneliness.
An emotionless zombie,
Playing the part for an audience,
Yet invisible on stage.
You have changed me, manipulated me,
But most of all, broken me.
I refuse. I'm not done yet.
I will break these chains and set myself free.
You always took me so far down.
Rock bottom? I've seen it.
But I will no longer drown.
Finally, you will be the one to submit.
I will chain you, beat you until beg for mercy.
But I know I cannot kill you,
For you are a demon, red-eyed and unearthly.
With you restrained and bloody, I start again anew.
I put up a good fight,
Removing you from the cast.
But I walk always with heart racing and chest tight,
Knowing every round will never be the last.
-
Author:
Antivist (
Offline) - Published: June 8th, 2016 12:01
- Comment from author about the poem: I have struggled with bipolar disorder all my life, and it got really bad around age 13. This poem was written at a lower point in my life, and it is what depression feels like to me.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 18
Offline)
Comments3
WELCOME ANTIVIST - This is an excellent first poem - direct from your own experience so it deserves a considered analysis. I like the structure 12 neat quatrains with a consistent rhyme pattern (xaxa xbxb xcxc through to xlxl). Several Friends of mine suffer from depression and I can detect their experiences in yours ! S1. They have called it a FRIEND S2. BUT a nasty and unwanted one ! S3. Something they never planned for ! S4. YES Sadistic and leaves yiou emotionally "naked" S5. Almost impossible to fight back S6. Ooooh SUBMISSION S7. Paralysis S8. Several see themselves as "An emotionless Zombie" (frightening !), S9. Changed & manipulated - BUT - thank God not defeated. S10 Knocked down - bur never knocked out ! S11. AMEN Depression cannot be KILLED but it can be CHAINED ! S12. YES they too see it as an unending lifelong fight - but with resolve it can be controlled (chained). Thanks for sharing this very painful poem which ends on a positive note ! S = STANZA - OK - BRIAN
Your Confessional Poetry is more successful than my Symbolic Approach (Journey to Luna-cy).
Maybe Experience speaks better...
Anyway,Remember that most stories either do not have a clear beginning or an interesting middle or even worse a perfect ending. It's doesn't matter if the end is not perfect.
You could at least try to make it a HAPPY one...
I feel like I, and some people who are closest to me, have battled this same monster. You put it into words wonderfully.
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