Carved Into Trees


I'll always remember the day I met you

Clouds filled the sky but in my mind

citrus gold splashed into our eyes

The first glance - the awkward pause

I woudn't change it for the world


Never had I fallen onto such soft ground

An addict, chasing that first hit

The purity, the ecstasy


Now, when I see you around

you smile but I don't recognise you

All I see is past turned present

An end of an era - a splitting of a soul


Fearful of scenes to follow

I hide away

I could take on the world

But you stole my pride and left my heart 

without a second thought


With names displayed to the world

Our tree begins to wilt

  • Author: samishere (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 13th, 2016 06:47
  • Comment from author about the poem: A tale of a failed relationship. This is my first poem. I understand it's not the best, but that's why I'm here. I want to learn and any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated. I'm still experimenting with this means of expression and I hope to delve deeper. Hope you enjoy it. :)
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 56
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Comments +



    WELCOME SAMI - For a very elegant first poem. Love the free verse flow and the fragmented stanzas. 5 3 4 5 2 lines which suit the topic fractured love. The structure of a poem should always reflect the subject. Satnzas 1 & 2 celebrate the Joy of unconditioanl love the S 3 "end of an era !" S 4 So so sad ~ stolen pride and empty heart. S 5 I have carved names on a tree and they remain to this day but the tree (like our love) has wilted. I CAN empathise - Thanks for caring BRIAN

    • samishere

      Thank you so much Brian, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope to keep posting and experimenting with techniques.

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