Motherless Child

Losing your mom would make you heartless too.

Not giving a fuck wishing you was dead so it could be ya'll two.

Nobody understands but everybody wants to have the answer.

Wondering why your going insane when the picture is plain!

That was my best friend !

I didn't have to worry about the fake shit, because momma didn't know how to pretend.

Raised me to be a lady and never a hoe.

Showed me niggas not all the same, and to keep my eyes open for the sneaky ones.

See a mothers love is unconditional perfect in it's own.

But when my mom went so did my dome it had my mind going insane.

I'm looking in the mirror like Tae calm down your kids need you.

Got me drinking my problems away, but when I'm sober your still not here !

Experimenting with the coke and I'm still trying to wake up from this ignorant ass joke.

Thinking God playing games so I stopped trusting him.

Questioning is this really reality?

Asking myself what did I do to deserve this shit ?!

Pouring up another drink cause now I'm getting pissed.

My daddy done raped me and now my mom done left me.

Living in a fucked up world, and now my trust is gone.

Relationships gone wrong and nobody to run to.

I'm looking at the bottle like help me !

Looking at the coke like save me !

Blowing on the tree like revive me !

Yet the pain is still there.

Holding on the trigger deciding whether to pull it or not.

Cause now im livid fucking hot !

Wanting to sell my soul to the devil cause my mom is gone, and I need her back.

Tears flowing and I'm in a dark place.

I'm parent less and officially confused.

Family fake as fuck and just wanna be there for the drama.

Everybody wanna know why and how it happened, let alone I don't even know how or why !

My mother was my idol, my world, and my everything.

Heart feeling like it's been ripped out and my anger is building up!

I'm highed up, tripping to myself.

Trying my hardest to take myself out !

Drinking, snorting and cutting myself !

I'm heated feeling like God set me up !

Head hanging over the toliet, wrist bleeding out, coke and blood running out my nose.

Praying to God he take me like he did my mom.

See this shit hit hard cause we was something like Velma and Louise.

How the hell was I supposed to react seeing the ambulance at my house and her under that sheet and I spazzed the fuck out !

I blacked out something unatural crying my damn heart out.

Shit still hurts, the pain still lives, tears still come and my heart still breaks.

But the only thing I'm left with now is memories of how I became a mother less child