You Told Me

You told me on a Thursday Night

My mouth smiled though I told him not to

My heart, wildly beating so loud you must have heard it

And that’s what made you smile too

Because no words came out of me

Not a sound in the world could express how I felt

If I’d found the right word I’d have said it

But I didn’t

I just stood there

Like a fool

But you like that about me, don’t you

The way you can render an otherwise eloquent man

To a babbling, rambling, shambling idiot within the span

Of a sentence

Or a smile

Or a movement

Or anything, really

And I’ll never come close to you

Not even nearly

Three words, eight letters, the best night of my life

You told me on a Saturday Evening

I rose to my feet to envelop you in my arms as you cried

My life completely changed for the better, forever, by you

Our meals sat forgotten, growing cold

As we laughed and cried, feeling silly

While a restaurant full of people smiled and applauded

Long enough for us to want to run away with embarrassment

And hide somewhere alone

Just the two of us

With our happiness

So I signalled for the bill

And you scurried off to retrieve our coats

And we hurried off to complete the most

Wonderful night

The look in your eyes

Purest delight

One question, one answer, the new best night of my life

You told me on a Sunday Afternoon

In the garden of an old castle with the ground soft from rain

But not enough to dampen the spirit of our day

It was amazing

I expected to be nervous but the nerves never came

It was the logical next step

Nothing else would make sense at this point

Your handpicked dress made mush of my brain

Supple, slick, the castle, a blur in the wake of your beauty

I made a promise

You made a vow

A flock of friends and family gathered around

To bear witness to our love and the smile on my face

Can never be gone

As you are the ultimate

As you are the one

Two rings, one knot, the first day of the rest of my life

You told me on a Friday Morning

The phone lead in my hand, my face turned to stone

My dreams lay dead in the water being carried away

On a tide heading nowhere but rocky shore

You rendered me speechless

Hardly unprecedented

But this time was different

You needed comfort but I couldn’t lend it

I was stunned

The thought of…

I headed straight home to be by your side

But I was alone for an endless drive

Through streets I knew

Past

Present

Future

I thought all three were the same I was wrong

About so many things

About what lay ahead

About what life brings

One test, one result, the worst day of my life

You died on a Tuesday, I don’t remember what time

I’m so grateful that it was painless, that it was dignified

But I hate that it happened

We had so many plans

We were to travel the world

Start off in Northern France and then Belgium

Holland and down through Germany, through Switzerland to Milan then

Look at me, I’m rambling again

This is what happens when I don’t know what to say

Or do

I get confused

And then I just talk and talk

See when I feel like this my instinct is still to talk to you

But I can’t

And I never will again

And I’ll have to live with that

Until the very end

One inoperable tumor, one incredible wife

The last day of my life