Wasted time

The time that I wasted is my biggest regret, 

Spent in these crazy ass places that I'll never forget... 

Just sitting and thinking about all the fucked up shit that I have done, 

All of the laughing the crying the pain and the fun...

Now it's just me and my hard driven guilt, 

Behind a wall of emptiness that I allowed to be built...

I'm trapped in my twisted ass mind just wanting to run,

Back to my youth where it was laughter and fun... 

But the chase is over and there's no place left to hide, 

Everything that I stood for is gone including my pride...

Now with reality suddenly right here in my face, 

I'm hurt lost alone and stuck in this place...

Now memories of my Laurie's death flash threw my head, 

The pain is the obvious by all the warm salty tears that I shed...

I ask myself why and where did I go wrong, 

I guess I was weak when I should have been strong...

Living for the drugs and the rebelous wings that I have grown, 

My feelings where lost afraid to be shown...

As I look at my past it's so easy now to see, 

The fear that I had I was afraid to be me... 

It's time that I change and get on with my life,

Fulfilling my dreams for my son and for Laurie my late wife... 

What my future will hold I really don't know,

All the long hard years are starting to show....

I know I can make it I at least have to try,

Because I'm heading towards death and I don't want to die.........